“What do you call someone who fixes tiny cars?”/“A quantum mechanic.”
"Quantum mechanics" shouldn't be confused with "auto mechanics," but there are jokes. "There is a hoary old joke: What do you call a physicist who works on quantum…
Alphebetical for "w"
“What do you call someone who gives away free herbs?”/“A cilantropist.”
"Cilantropist" or "cilanthropist" (cilantro + philanthropist) is a jocular portmanteau term for a lover of cilantro, or someone who gives away cilantro to others. "What do…
“What do you call someone who gives out soda at Christmas?”/“Fanta Clause.”
Fanta soda has nothing to do with Santa Claus, but many have suggested a "Fanta Claus" or "Fanta Clause," who brings soda on Christmas. "How has the soda company Fanta…
“What do you call someone who hangs around musicians?”/“A drummer.”
Drummers have been the subject of many jokes. One popular joke is: Q: What doyou call someone who hangs out with musicians?A: A drummer. It's not known who first told the joke, but the joke…
“What do you call someone who is good at fishing?”/“A profishional.”
"Profishional" (professional + fish/fishing) is a term that is sometimes used. "Dozens of booths will be devoted to the latest fishing tackle. Manufacturers displayed include Blue…
“What do you call someone who loves coriander?”/“A cilantropist.”
"Cilantropist" or "cilanthropist" (cilantro + philanthropist) is a jocular portmanteau term for a lover of cilantro, or someone who gives away cilantro to others. "What do…
“What do you call someone who only eats tiny bits of other people?”/“A cannibble”
"Cannibal" can sound like "can nibble" -- meaning someone "able to nibble" or someone who "nibbles cans" (or nibbles from cans). "What kind of person…
“What do you call someone who points out the obvious?”/“Someone who points out the obvious.”
A riddle was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on June 30, 2010: Q: What do you call someone who points out the obvious?A: Someone who points out the obvious. The joke originated on the Sickipedia…
“What do you call someone who wants more soup?”/“A moresoupial.”
"Marsupial" has nothing to do with soup, but there are "more-soup-ial" jokes. Some jokes connect to the Charles Dickens's 1838 novel Oliver Twist and musical Oliver! (1960,…
“What do you call someone who’s sexually attracted to Greek cheese?”/“A feta-shist.”
There is no feta (a Greek cheese) in the words "fetish" or "fetishist," but there are jokes. "Fetashist" (feta + fetishist) is a jocular portmanteau word.…
“What do you call someone who’s allergic to burnt bread?”/“Black toast intolerant.”
"Lactose intolerant” is sometimes jocularly called “black toast intolerant.” "My Daddy can't eat that toast, he is black toast intolerant" was posted on the newsgroup…
“What do you call something that can’t be forklifted?”/“Unpalletable.”
"Unpalatable" (disagreeable or distasteful) is not the same thing as "unpalletable" (involving a pallet), but there are jokes. "Forklift operators do not care for puns -…
“What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews?”/“Filet minyan.”
Filet mignon (a cut of steak) has nothing to do with a minyan (a quorum of ten Jewish adults required for certain religious obligations), but there are jokes. "FILET MINYAN WITH MUSHROOM…
“What do you call the best salesman at a funeral home?”/“The Top Urner.”
"Top earner" sounds like "top urner." "Have you heard about the crematorium ceo? she was a top urner" was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2013. A riddle was posted on…
“What do you call the first meal of the day at a nursing home?”/“Incontinental breakfast.”
A "continental breakfast" is a light breakfast (such as juice, cereal and pastries) that's often served in a hotel. There is no such thing as an "incontinental breakfast"…
“What do you call the formal study of pasta?”/“Linguinistics.”
"Linguine" (a type of pasta) is sometimes confused with "linguistics" (the scientific study of language), especially with the portmanteau word "linguinistics."…
“What do you call the head of a school of fish?”/“A Sardean.”
A school riddle is: Q: What do you call the head of a school of fish? A: A Sardean. "Sardean" is not a "dean," but a pun on "sardine." Forms of the "Sardean"…
“What do you call the man who shreds your cheese at a restaurant?”/“A grate guy.”
Is the waiter who comes to your table with a shredder and adds parmesan cheese to your dish a grate (great) guy? "I have a lot of time for the man that comes around just to prepare my cheese.…
“What do you call the milk from a Christened cow?”/“Pastorised milk.”
"Pasteurized milk" has nothing to do with pastors, but there are jokes. "Pastorised Milk #Religiousfoods" was posted on Twitter by Marc Lemezma on November 23, 2009.…
“What do you call the new girl at the bank?”/“The Nutella!”
Nutella is a brand of sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread. Some people pronounce it like "new-tella," and they wonder if there is or was an "Oldtella." "Nutella: better than…