“Someone stole some of my rap CDs. Oh well, no biggie”
"No biggie" means "no big deal." Brooklyn-born Christopher George Latore Wallace (1972-1997) -- known professionally as The Notorious B.I.G., Biggie Smalls, or Biggie -- is,…
Alphebetical for "s"
“Someone threw a bottle of mayo at me. I was like, what the Hellmann”
Hellmann's is a popular brand of mayonnaise. There are, of course, "hell man" jokes. "My girlfriend just threw mayonnaise at me, what the Hellman" was posted on Twitter by…
“Someone threw sodium chloride at me! That’s a salt!”
"A salt" sounds like "assault," and there are sodium chloride jokes that have been printed on many images. "Some one just threw a bag of sodium Chloride at me! That's…
“Someone told me I looked like a salt cellar. I took it as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“Someone told me that a ring of salt will protect me from evil spirits. We’ll see how this margarita works out for me”
Some people believe in magic circles. "A ring of salt will protect you" (or "A circle of salt will protect you") has been printed on many images. "A ring of salt will…
“Someone told me that time heals all wounds…GREAT! I’m gonna go buy a clock and skip all those pesky doctor bills”
"Time heals all wounds" is an old saying that might or might not be true. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Princess Buttercup on May 23, 2014, and it received over 7,500 likes:…
“Someone told me today that I smelt like vinegar. I took it as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“Someone who is busier than you is running right now”
"Someone who is busier than you is running right now" is a running saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that one is really never too busy to find time to run.…
“Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian; someone who makes you think, then laugh is a humorist”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 30 September 1978, The Centre Daily Times (State College, PA), pg. 4, col. 2:Subtle DifferenceSomeone who makes you laugh is a comedian, George Burns said. Someone who…
“Someone who puts up Halloween decorations early suffers from premature ejackolantern”
"If you carve a pumpkin in September, it’s called premature ejackolantern" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Premature ejackolantern" is a portmanteau…
“Someone wrote a book on clocks? It’s about time!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterLipstickKARO'S EFFECT@OsakaromenSomeone wrote a book on clocks?It's about time!4:12 PM · Jun 12, 2019·Twitter for Android Reddit -- CleanjokesPosted by…
“Someone’s just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received super fish oil injuries”
"Super fish oil" sounds like "superficial." A joke was posted on Twitter on July 31, 2011: "Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received…
“Someone’s stollen my German Christmas cake”
"Stollen" is a German fruit bread, often served at Christmas. There are many puns with stollen and "stolen." "Thought of a new recipe for a cake with marzipan and sultanas.…
“Something in the water” (cause of unusual activity)
"There must be something in the water" is a jocular statement, guessing that the water is responsible for unusual conditions in a locality. "There must be something in the water at…
“Something rotten in the cotton”
"Something (is) rotten in the cotton" is a Southern expression meaning that something is wrong. U.S. president Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973) is credited with saying it. "Something…
“Sometimes all you need is a billion dollars”
"Sometimes all you need is a billion dollars" (or "Sometimes all you need is 500 million dollars") is a jocular saying about money that has been printed on many images.…
“Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person and all your stress will melt away”
"Sometimes all you need is a hug" is an old saying. "Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person and all your stress will melt away" is an inspirational saying that…
“Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical…really…it’s like the trash took itself out”
"Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical...really...it's like the trash took itself out" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Sometimes getting…
“Sometimes I be wanting to tell my job…. ‘My mom said I can’t come’”
A parental excuse usually doesn't work with a job, but some people would like to try. This was posted on Facebook by Tiffany Benton Harper on May 30, 2019, and received over 110,000 shares:…