“Someone please call 9 Wine Wine”
"Someone please call 9 Wine Wine" -- a wine joke on a "911" emergency call -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "DIAL 9-WINE-WINE: When in pain, call the…
Alphebetical for "s"
“Someone removed the fifth month from all my calendars. I am really dismayed”
The word "dismay" has nothing to do with the month of May, but there are jokes. "Dismay: To insult the 5th month" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 23, 2005.…
“Someone should rewrite the history books to refer to ancient spice traders as thyme travelers”
"Herb traders are thyme travelers" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter by Glenn Fleishman on March 7, 2016. A similar saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts…
“Someone should start a rumor of a shortage of jobs so everybody panics and gets one”
The year 2020 saw panic buying of toilet paper. The year 2021 saw panic buying of gasoline. This was posted on Facebook by Michael Wayne Hurst on May 10, 2021: "Someone should start a rumor of…
“Someone stole my broken calculator, but I don’t know why. It just doesn’t add up”
"Add up" means to make a mathematical sum. "Doesn't add up" means that something doesn't make sense. "Someone nicked my broken calculator at work!......it just…
“Someone stole my coffee cup from work today. I’m off to the police station to look at mug shots”
"Someone stole my coffee cup from work on Friday. Just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The joke was posted…
“Someone stole some of my rap CDs. Oh well, no biggie”
"No biggie" means "no big deal." Brooklyn-born Christopher George Latore Wallace (1972-1997) -- known professionally as The Notorious B.I.G., Biggie Smalls, or Biggie -- is,…
“Someone threw a bottle of mayo at me. I was like, what the Hellmann”
Hellmann's is a popular brand of mayonnaise. There are, of course, "hell man" jokes. "My girlfriend just threw mayonnaise at me, what the Hellman" was posted on Twitter by…
“Someone threw sodium chloride at me! That’s a salt!”
"A salt" sounds like "assault," and there are sodium chloride jokes that have been printed on many images. "Some one just threw a bag of sodium Chloride at me! That's…
“Someone told me I looked like a salt cellar. I took it as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“Someone told me that a ring of salt will protect me from evil spirits. We’ll see how this margarita works out for me”
Some people believe in magic circles. "A ring of salt will protect you" (or "A circle of salt will protect you") has been printed on many images. "A ring of salt will…
“Someone told me that time heals all wounds…GREAT! I’m gonna go buy a clock and skip all those pesky doctor bills”
"Time heals all wounds" is an old saying that might or might not be true. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Princess Buttercup on May 23, 2014, and it received over 7,500 likes:…
“Someone told me today that I smelt like vinegar. I took it as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“Someone who is busier than you is running right now”
"Someone who is busier than you is running right now" is a running saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that one is really never too busy to find time to run.…
“Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian; someone who makes you think, then laugh is a humorist”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 30 September 1978, The Centre Daily Times (State College, PA), pg. 4, col. 2:Subtle DifferenceSomeone who makes you laugh is a comedian, George Burns said. Someone who…
“Someone who puts up Halloween decorations early suffers from premature ejackolantern”
"If you carve a pumpkin in September, it’s called premature ejackolantern" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Premature ejackolantern" is a portmanteau…
“Someone wrote a book on clocks? It’s about time!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterLipstickKARO'S EFFECT@OsakaromenSomeone wrote a book on clocks?It's about time!4:12 PM · Jun 12, 2019·Twitter for Android Reddit -- CleanjokesPosted by…
“Someone’s just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received super fish oil injuries”
"Super fish oil" sounds like "superficial." A joke was posted on Twitter on July 31, 2011: "Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received…
“Someone’s stollen my German Christmas cake”
"Stollen" is a German fruit bread, often served at Christmas. There are many puns with stollen and "stolen." "Thought of a new recipe for a cake with marzipan and sultanas.…