"If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If someday we all go to prison for downloading…
"If we get rid of all the margarine, the world would be a butter place" is a jocular saying, with a pun on "the world would be a better place." Authorship is unknown. "Now…
"If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs -- if we had some eggs" (or "If I had some bread, I could make a ham sandwich -- if I had some ham") is a jocular saying from a…
"If we lie to the Congress, it's a felony and if the Congress lies to us it's just politics" was written by Ken Huber of Tawas City, Michigan, and published in the Iosco County…
"If we make guns illegal, then nobody will get shot anymore. That's how we stopped everybody from doing drugs" is a sarcastic pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images.…
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least 1999. "If we…
"If we start calling it 'potato juice', vodka becomes a health drink, RIGHT??" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "@donjuantip: If we start calling…
Many people and groups have been censored by the media, especially the social media such as Facebook and Twitter. "If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us"…
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" (or, "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the…
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" (or, "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in changes to many grocery stores, such as one-way aisles. "Okay, if we're going to have one-way grocery aisles then I'm going to need a…
It's very common for a bathroom to be decorated with a beach theme, but that is not required by law. "What is it with white people & beach themed bathrooms?" was posted on…
"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but how you played the game" is a paraphrase of the poem "Alumnus Football" (1908) by the sportswriter Grantland Rice (1880-1954).…
"If women ruled the world, there would be no wars" is an old saying that may or may not be true. "If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries…
"If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on GIFs. Leonard Lyons (1906-1976) wrote in his syndicated "The Lyons…
"If work isn’t fun, you’re not playing on the right team" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Frank Sonnenberg wrote the saying in his book (co-authored…
Haitian writer Jacques Roumain (1907-1944) wrote in Gouverneurs de la Rosée (1944), translated as Masters of the Dew (1947): "If work was such a good thing, the rich would have grabbed it all…
"If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em" ("If worms had machine guns, birds wouldn't eat them") is a saying of unknown origin. "If worms had machine…
"Are abbreviations in sign language called 'shorthand'?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by J. W. Sullivan on September 17, 2011. "If you abbreviate in sign language,…
"If you ain't from Texas, you're a Yankee" was printed in the Knoxville (TN) News-Sentinel on November 22, 1981. "If you're not from Texas, you're a Yankee"…