“A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Roman numeral joke is: "A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says,…
Alphebetical for "a"
“A room and bath for two and one-half” (Commodore Hotel, now Grand Hyatt)
The Grand Hyatt at 42nd Street and Lexington Avenue, next to Grand Central Terminal, used to be the Commodore Hotel. That hotel was named after "Commodore" Cornelius Vanderbilt, the…
“A rosé by any other name would taste as sweet”
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet," is a famous line from William Shakespeare's play, Romeo and Juliet. The line has been…
“A rubber band was confiscated during algebra because it was a weapon of math disruption”
A pun on "weapon of mass destruction" is "weapon of math disruption," as in a popular joke: "A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon…
“A runner walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A running version is: "A runner walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the…
“A safety net should be a trampoline as opposed to a hammock”
“We want to make the safety net a trampoline as opposed to a hammock,” said Massachusetts Governor William Weld in July 1991. The "safety net" and "hammock" imagery --…
“A salad is just a deconstructed sandwich”
Reddit -- Showerthoughts Posted by u/33K0 August 21, 2017A salad with croutons is like a deconstructed sandwich Reddit -- ShowerthoughtsPosted by u/asdfgzxcv83848 April 29, 2018A salad is just a…
“A salad without radicchio? That’s just radicchio-less”
Radicchio (a perennial cultivated form of leaf chicory) appears in many jokes as "radicchio-less" (ridiculous). "It's all the talk about salad-masochism, peas-ophilia, and…
“A salt truck implies the existence of a pepper truck”
There are salt trucks to salt the roads, but there are no pepper trucks. "i've seen a lot of salt trucks just wondering where are the pepper trucks" was posted on Twitter by Darren…
“A sandwich is an unsuccessful attempt to make both ends meat”
"A sandwich is an unsuccessful attempt to make both ends meat" is a popular sandwich pun. "It is very hard to make both ends meat -- especially of a pic-nic sandwich" was…
“A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed.”
A music joke was posted on the newsgroup wny.events on February 2, 1997: Q: Why is a viola like a lawsuit?A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed. The joke has been told about other…
“A scared nickel never made a dime” (business adage)
"Scared money never wins" is an old gambling adage. "A scared nickel never made a dime" is a business adage. If someone is unwilling to risk a little, then one won't win a…
“A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup. A schlimazel is the guy he spills it on”
There is a classic explanation of the Yiddish terms "schlemiel" and "schlimazel": "A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup. A schlimazel is the guy he spills it on." A…
“A science teacher had his students observe and report on the condensation…” (joke)
"Due" shouldn't be confused with "dew," but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 21, 2022: "A science teacher had his students observe and…
“A screwdriver walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A screwdriver version is: "A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says,…
“A seat on the New York Stock Exchange is a license to steal”
Former New York Stock Exchange head Richard Grasso received a $200 million pay package. It's been alleged that he received the large amount to look the other way at NYSE abuses. Ken Langone…
“A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student”
"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student" is an old line of unknown authorship. "He (Charles Haddon Spurgeon -- ed.) is a self-taught man, and contrary to…
“A selfie with a celebrity is the new form of an autograph”
People used to ask celebrities for autographs, but now, they ask celebrities to be in their selfies. "The new form of asking for an autograph is 'can i get a selfie?'" was…
“A semicolon broke the law; it was given two consecutive sentences”
A semicolon riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 24, 2016: Q: What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?A: It was given two consecutive sentences. A different form of the joke…
“A shady business never yields a sunny life”
"A shady business never yields a sunny life" was printed in Forbes Epigrams: 1000 Thoughts on Life and Business (1922) by B. C. Forbes, the founder of Forbes magazine. It became one of…