“Stop killing wild turkeys to make whiskey” (fake protest sign)
"Stop killing aligators to make Gatoraid" (misspelling "alligators" and "Gatorade") is a jocular -- but fake -- protest sign that has been printed on many images. The…
“Gun Control: the theory that becoming a victim is somehow morally superior to defending yourself”
"Gun Control? Oh yes, the theory that becoming a victim is somehow morally superior to defending yourself & your family. Makes perfect sense" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed…
“Stop killing crocodiles to make Crocs” (fake protest sign)
"Stop killing aligators to make Gatoraid" (misspelling "alligators" and "Gatorade") is a jocular -- but fake -- protest sign that has been printed on many images. The…
“I’m not saying I’m a bad cook, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?”
Pasta doesn't cook in a toaster, but there are jokes about it. "I'm not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster? http://bit.ly/ZO993o via…
“Stop killing doves to make Dove soap” (fake protest sign)
"Stop killing aligators to make Gatoraid" (misspelling "alligators" and "Gatorade") is a jocular -- but fake -- protest sign that has been printed on many images. The…
“Some people wouldn’t know tyranny if it covered their faces, locked them in their homes…”
"Some people wouldn't know tyranny if it covered their faces, locked them in their homes, enacted the biggest wealth transfer in history, censored them, made them show papers and force…
“How do pastors make orange juice?”/“They pulpit.”
"Pulpit" shouldn't be confused with "pulp it," but there are jokes. "How do preachers make orange juice? Pulpit" was posted on Twitter by Tony Cowards on April…
“This republic was not established by cowards; and cowards will not preserve it”
"This republic was not established by cowards; and cowards will not preserve it" is a saying that has been printed in many images. American news reporter and author Elmer Davis…
“Waitress says ‘Say when’ when grating my cheese. I never say when. The room fills with parmesan”
"Waitress says 'Say when' when grating my cheese. I never say when. The room fills with parmesan. There are no survivors" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“How do preachers make orange juice?”/“Pulpit.”
"Pulpit" shouldn't be confused with "pulp it," but there are jokes. "How do preachers make orange juice? Pulpit" was posted on Twitter by Tony Cowards on April…
“I’m not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?”
Pasta doesn't cook in a toaster, but there are jokes about it. "I'm not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster? http://bit.ly/ZO993o via…
“Why did the sarcastic chicken cross the road?”/“To get to the other snide.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. One variation is: Q: Why did the sarcastic chicken cross the road?A:…
“Olive Garden waitress asks me to “say when” and begins to grate parmesan on my salad…”
"Waitress says 'Say when' when grating my cheese. I never say when. The room fills with parmesan. There are no survivors" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“Hamburger comes from the German city of Hamburg. Cheeseburger comes from the city of Cheeseburg”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterKarl Sharro@KarlreMarksHamburger comes from the German city of Hamburg while cheeseburger comes from the city of Cheeseburg. I'll see myself out.5:36 AM · Jul…
“Nos mean y la prensa dice que llueve” (“They pee on us and the press says it’s raining”)
"The rich and powerful piss on us and the media tells us it's raining" is a saying that has been printed on several images. “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining” is…
“The rich and powerful piss on us and the media tells us it’s raining”
"The rich and powerful piss on us and the media tells us it's raining" is a saying that has been printed on several images. “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining” is…
“Chess players are pawn stars”
The American reality television series Pawn Stars has nothing to do with chess, but there are chess jokes. "Are really good Chess players called Pawn stars?" was posted on Twitter by…
“The rich and powerful piss on us and the media tell us it’s raining”
"The rich and powerful piss on us and the media tells us it's raining" is a saying that has been printed on several images. “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining” is…
“What’s the loudest pet?”/“A trumpet.”
A trumpet riddle is: Q: What's the loudest pet?A: A trumpet. The joke was printed in the book Over 1500 Fantastic Jokes (2002) by Guy Campbell and Mark Devins. Google Books Over 1500 Fantastic…
“I’m going to need some privacy while I parallel park”
Many people find that parallel parking is difficult. "I hate when people are outside when I'm trying to parallel park. I need some privacy!" is a saying that has been printed on…