“Who’s Scott Fitzgerald and why did they tell us to fuck him in high school”
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) wrote the novel The Great Gatsby (1925), which is often required reading in American schools. "F" stands for "Francis." "Who is Scott…
“Why won’t Facebook sponsor the Metropolitan Museum of Art?”/“Because it’s Met-averse.”
The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City if often called "the Met." The Metropolitan Opera at New York's Lincoln Center is also called "the Met." Are people who…
“Recipe said to ‘Chill in the fridge for two hours.’ I nearly died”
Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- FunnyPosted by u/cachebrain July 5, 2017Cooking instructions.... Chill in the fridge for an hour.(A person is shown in the refrigerator. -- ed.) Reddit --…
“Waiter: Any intolerances? Diner: People who don’t signal properly on roundabouts.”
A restaurant often asks about intolerances -- that is, food intolerances. "At a restaurant that asks you to let them know if you have any intolerances. Yep, people who don't indicate…
“If taxes weren’t theft, the IRS wouldn’t need guns”
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has some of its agents carry guns to enforce its actions collecting revenue. "If taxation wasn’t theft, IRS agents wouldn’t need guns" was posted on…
“I was thinking about going to the Metropolitan Opera, but I am Met-averse”
The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City if often called "the Met." The Metropolitan Opera at New York's Lincoln Center is also called "the Met." Are people who…
“If taxation wasn’t theft, IRS agents wouldn’t need guns”
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has some of its agents carry guns to enforce its actions collecting revenue. "If taxation wasn’t theft, IRS agents wouldn’t need guns" was posted on…
“I will be back on my feet just as soon as the coffee reaches life supporting levels”
"I will be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight variations. "I'll be…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come 4th, so I didn’t have to walk up to the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would be fourth so I wouldn’t have to step up on the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d probably come in 4th so that I wouldn’t need to walk up…”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“I’ll be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels”
"I will be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight variations. "I'll be…
“I will be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels”
"I will be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight variations. "I'll be…
“If laziness was on the Olympic games, I would rank 4th so I wouldn’t have to climb the winners’...”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“You know what rhymes with Friday? Prosecco”
"You know what rhymes with Friday? Alcohol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There is no rhyme, of course, but it's the weekend and the speaker no longer…
“Teachers: Just log into Zablezoot, scroll down to the Zorkle app…”
The technology that some schools use can confuse boomer parents. This image was posted on Twitter by Aaron Klein on September 21, 2020, but is of unknown authorship: Teachers: Just log into…
“You know what rhymes with Friday? Scotch”
"You know what rhymes with Friday? Alcohol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There is no rhyme, of course, but it's the weekend and the speaker no longer…
“Don’t call them illegal firearms. Call them undocumented weapons and let them live…”
"Undocumented" guns have been compared to "undocumented" Americans. "I don't have any 'assault weapons' - they are either defense weapons or undocumented…
“Forever (n): The period of time it takes for the coffee to brew”
"Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning" is a jocular one-line coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since…
“Libertarians: Against wars of aggression no matter who is president”
Many people are against wars of aggression, but stay quiet when their political party is in power and starts such a war. "Libertarians: the only ones against wars of aggression no matter who…