“There are two rules for success: 1.) Don’t tell all you know”
"There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't/Never tell all/everything you know" (the joke is that the second rule is not given) is a popular saying about success that has been…
“Don’t sweat the small stuff”
"Don't sweat the small stuff" became a popular saying from books such as Michael R. Mantell's Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: P.S., It's All Small Stuff (1988) and…
“If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it”
"If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it" is a popular joke, meaning that the $20 (that is not paid back) is a small sum to be rid of an…
“Fools rush in and get the best seats”
"For fools rush in where angels fear to tread" was written by Alexander Pope (1688-1744) in An Essay on Criticism (1711). The line is famous and has many parodies. "Fools rush in and…
“Capital Punishment: The income tax”
"Capital punishment" is the death penalty. An old joke defines the income tax as a punishment for having capital, or "capital punishment." "Capital punishment -- the income…
Nickel-and-Dime
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wiktionary: nickel and dimeAlternative forms. nickel-and-dimeEtymologyFrom the names of two US coins of small value.Adjectivenickel and dime1. (US, idiomatic, colloquial)…
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading”
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading" is a joke that has been included in many collections of sayings about drinking. The joke has been cited in print since at…
Pilgrim (sandwich of Thanksgiving leftovers)
Entry in progress -- B.P. The long list of the names of sandwiches served on long rolls includes blimpie, bomber, Cuban (medianoche), Dagwood, garibaldi, gondola, grinder, hero, hoagie, Italian,…
“Sharp as a mashed potato sandwich” (dumb)
To be "sharp as a mashed potato sandwich" is not to be sharp at all -- that is, to be dumb. "Sharp as a mashed potato sandwich" was teen slang from at least 1944. "Sharp as…
Referette (female referee)
A “referee” is a sports official who administers a game; the term is neither masculine nor feminine. Few referees in professional sports are women. "Referette" (a female referee) has…
“He who feels that he is too small to make a difference has never been bitten by a mosquito”
Anita Roddick (1942-2007), founder of The Body Shop, had a saying on her company's trucks in 1993: "If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a…
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee”
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee" is a frequently cited anecdote that has usually been attributed to Abraham Lincoln…
“Tie one on” (to get drunk)
To "tie one on" means to become drunk. A March 1933 newspaper article on American slang defined it, "tie one on, to become intoxicated." It's not explained what is being…
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps”
To "pull oneself up by one's bootstraps" means to succeed without outside help. "Over the Cumberland river or a barn yard fence by the straps of his boots" was cited in…
“No one ever says ‘It’s only a game’ when their team is winning”
"No one ever says 'It's only a game' when their team is winning" is a humorous saying indicating that winning -- even winning meaningless exhibition games -- gives a…
Restaurateuse (female restaurateur)
A "restaurateur" is a person who runs a restaurant; the term is neither masculine nor feminine. A "restaurateur" who is a woman is frequently called a "restaurateuse,"…
“To err is human; to blame it on someone else shows management potential”
"To err is human; to forgive, divine" was written by Alexander Pope (1688-1744) in "An Essay on Criticism" (1711). The line is famous and has many parodies. "To err is…
“If at first you don’t succeed, try management”
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…
“On the table” (something negotiable or for discussion)
In business, an offer or a proposal that is "on the (bargaining) table" is one that is under consideration or discussion. "To lay that proposal on the table" has been cited in…
“Bring to the table” (to contribute something)
The expression "bring something to the table" possibly originated with people bringing food to the dinner table. During collective bargaining, both management and labor are said to…