“What do you call a Communist sniper?”/“A Marxman.”
A popular Communist/Marxist pun is: Q: What do you call a Communist sniper?A: A Marxman (marksman). "What do you call a communist sniper? A marxman!" was cited on Twitter on February 28,…
“Why can’t Irishmen be lawyers?”/“They can never get past the bar.”
A popular Irish joke is: Q: Why can't Irishmen be lawyers?A: They can never get past the bar. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. “An Irishman walks out of a bar” is a…
New York State: Excelsior State (nickname)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Coat of arms of New YorkThe coat of arms of the state of New York was formally adopted in 1778, and appears as a component of the state's flag and seal.…
“Poisoned coffee, n: Grounds for divorce”
A pun has it that "poisoned coffee is grounds for divorce." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. "Poisoned coffee, n.: Grounds for divorce" has been cited since…
“If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee”
"If you ever live in a community run by a committee, be on the committee" has been credited to American social scientist William Graham Sumner (1840-1910). It's uncertain when he…
“What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?”/“One less drunk.”
A popular Irish joke is: Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?A: There is one less drunk at the wake. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1966. Old…
“Why can’t Irishmen be lawyers?”/“They can never get past the bar.”
A popular Irish joke is: Q: Why can't Irishmen be lawyers?A: They can never get past the bar. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. “An Irishman walks out of a bar” is a…
“Thank you, student loans. How will I ever repay you?”
"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Dear Student Loans…
“Why did the programmer quit his job?”/“Because he didn’t get arrays.”
A popular computer programming joke is: Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?A: Because he didn't get arrays (a raise). The joke was cited on Twitter on August 17, 2009. Microsoft tweeted…
“Why did the cowboy buy a wiener dog?”/“He wanted to get a long little doggy.”
A joke on the song title "Git Along, Little Dogies" is: Q: Why did the cowboy buy a wiener dog (dachshund)?A: He wanted to get a long little doggy. The joke applies to buying a dachshund…
“Why did the cowboy buy a wiener dog?”/“He wanted to get a long little doggy.”
A joke on the song title "Git Along, Little Dogies" is: Q: Why did the cowboy buy a wiener dog (dachshund)?A: He wanted to get a long little doggy. The joke applies to buying a dachshund…
“I slapped a statue’s ass. I’ve officially hit rock bottom”
"Rock bottom" is the lowest level or point. A joke about stone statues is: "I slapped a statue's ass. I've officially hit rock bottom." "I slapped a statue on the…
“A time traveler walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A time travel version is: "Bartender says 'We don't serve time travelers…
“We should’ve seen communism’s failure. In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags”
A "red flag" is a metaphor for a problem. A red flag is also a symbol of Communism. A joke was posted on reddit on December 4, 2014: We should've known about the failure of…
“Why is milk so fast?”/“Because it’s pasteurized before you see it.”
"Pasteurize" sound likes "past your eyes," prompting the pun: Q: Why is milk so fast?A: Because it's pasteurized before you can see it. The joke was cited in a riddle book…
“What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public?”/“A private tooter.”
There's a joke about private tutors: Q: What do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public?A: A private tootor. The pun began as a musical joke. "WHEN is an educational instructor…
“Obesity is probably the only disease where a run for the cure will actually cure it”
The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure (for breast cancer) began in 1982; there have been other races called a "run for the cure." Comedian Garet Seman joked on Twitter on October 26, 2013:…
“Betting against gold is the same as betting on governments”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Resource InvestorThe Value of GoldBy Paul De SousaJune 14, 2011 "Betting against gold is the same as betting on governments. He who bets on governments and government…
“Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?”/“It’s a Wurst-Käse scenario.”
German sausage is "Wurst" and cheese is "Käse," prompting the pun that a pairing of the two is a "Wurst-Käse scenario" (worst-case scenario). "Wurst-case…
New Yuck Times (New York Times nickname)
For those who think that the New York (NY) Times newspaper is a joke (or is otherwise yucky), it's called the "New Yuck Times." The "New Yuck Times" nickname has been cited…