“I’m adding ‘showed up for work during the apocalypse’ to my résumé”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic sent many people home to quarantines, but many essential workers stayed on the job. "I'm adding 'showed up for/to work during the apocalypse'…
“If anybody needs copies of Osteopath Weekly, I have back issues”
There have been several magazine puns on the term “back issues.” "I've been getting the periodical Osteopath weekly for years. I have a lot of back issues" was posted on Twitter…
“It’s no longer 5 o’clock somewhere. It’s 2020 everywhere, so drink whenever you want”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to drink a lot. The drinking saying "it's five o'clock somewhere" no longer applied for many people. "Drink whenever…
“A man walks into a bar and asks for a Corona and two Hurricanes…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." The year 2020 brought many problems, such as the coronavirus pandemic, and in late August…
“A gun in the hand is worth more than the entire police force on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“A gun in the hand is worth the entire police force on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“I’d rather have a gun in my hand than a cop on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“A gun in the hand beats a cop on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“I’d rather have a gun in the hand than a cop on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“Fish n’ chips should always come with tartar sauce. It’s basically codified law”
"Codification" has to do with "code" and not "cod" (a fish), but there are jokes. "Note to self: When something's been 'codified', that does NOT…
“A gun in the hand is better than two cops on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“Almonds are good for when I want to have a healthy snack and want to stop having twelve dollars”
Almonds are a healthy snack, but they are expensive. A joke was posted on Twitter by Simon Holland on May 23, 2016: "Almonds are good for when I want to have a healthy snack and want to stop…
“If you’re ever feeling useless, remember that bags of ice have nutritional information”
A bag of ice contains nutritional information. The numbers are usually zero, but that information is there. "Think about this...if you’re ever feeling useless, just remember that ice has…
“Where have you been?”/“Good employees are hard to find.”
"Good employees are hard to find" usually means that they are hard to acquire, not that they play hide-and-seek. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 19, 2020: "My boss…
“Windows is for those who don’t want to know why their computer doesn’t work”
An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…
“The world does not owe you anything. You are not a loan”
"You are not a loan" (a pun on "you are not alone") was painted on a business sign and printed in the Sun Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, FL) on May 24, 1998. "You are not a…
“Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works”
An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…
“Macs are for those who don’t want to know why their computer works”
An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…
“You are not a loan”
"You are not a loan" (a pun on "you are not alone") was painted on a business sign and printed in the Sun Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, FL) on May 24, 1998. "You are not a…