“Where do toilets come from?”/“They grow on lavatrees.”
"Toiletry" is not "toilet tree" and "lavatory" is not "lavatree," but there are jokes. "Clara: 'where does toilet paper come from?' Me:…
“Just call me the little engine that said, ‘OK, but I need some coffee first’”
"Just call me the little engine that said, 'OK, but I need some coffee first'" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The Little Engine That Could is an…
“I was feeding cannabis-laced brownies to the seabirds. No tern was left unstoned”
"No stone left unturned" is a popular idiom. "No tern left unstoned" is a spoonerism. "The professional punster leaves no phrase unturned as in the case of him who said of…
“Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?” (joke)
The expression "in the long run" means "over a long period of time" and does not usually refer to long runs, but there are jokes. A marathoner riddle is: Q: Why does someone who…
“What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?”/“College.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many colleges to switch to remote learning. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on October 7, 2020: Q: What is the most expensive video-streaming…
“Why did the one-handed man cross the road?”/“He wanted to go to a second hand store.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A one-handed man version is: Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the…
“Is it OK that I start drinking as soon as the kids go to school? Or am I just a bad teacher?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to homeschool their children. "Is it OK that I start drinking as soon as the kids go to school? Or does that make me a bad teacher?"…
“He went on a cheese diet in order to cheddar few pounds”
"Cheddar" sounds a bit like "shed a." "He went on a cheese diet in order to cheddar few pounds. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup alt.callahans on July 27,…
“When should you go on a cheese diet?”/“When you need to cheddar a few pounds.”
"Cheddar" sounds a bit like "shed a." "He went on a cheese diet in order to cheddar few pounds. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup alt.callahans on July 27,…
“Humans are the only animal to drink the milk of another species”
Humans are the only animal to drink the milk of another species, and also the only animal to drink milk past infancy" is a saying that has been printed on many images. TwitterSteve…
“We live in a society where the free thinking, open-minded people are called crazy…”
"We live in a society where the free thinking, open-minded people are called crazy and the ignorant, closed-minded people are 'normal'" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Never trust an acupuncturist. They’re backstabbers”
"Don't trust people that do acupuncture. They're back stabbers" is a classic joke about acupuncture. The joke was posted on the website "Pun of the Day" on October 28,…
“Don’t trust people that do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers”
"Don't trust people that do acupuncture. They're back stabbers" is a classic joke about acupuncture. The joke was posted on the website "Pun of the Day" on October 28,…
“Imitation is the sincerest form of crab meat”
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" is an old proverb. "Imitation is the sincerest form of crab meat" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying…
“Eat fruits, not friends”
"Eat fruit(s), not friends" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Eat Fruit Not Friends" was posted on Twitter by Brittany ☮ on July…
“Just renewed my gin membership”
"Just renewed my gin membership" -- a pun on "gym membership" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A gin membership sounds better than a gym membership.…
“A positive attitude is contagious, but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier”
"A positive attitude is contagious, but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "A healthy attitude is…
“Eat fruit, not friends”
"Eat fruit(s), not friends" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Eat Fruit Not Friends" was posted on Twitter by Brittany ☮ on July…
“Just a reminder that mammogramming your boobs is more important than Instagramming them”
"Just a reminder that mammogramming your boobs is more important than Instagramming them" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, a breast cancer screening is more…
“One minute you’re young and fun and the next minute you’re excited about an air fryer”
Adulthood brings simple, homely pleasures. "One minute you're young and cool/fun, and the next minute you're excited about air fryers/crockpots/vacuums" is a saying that has…