“Popcorn is a sponge that feeds you butter”
Many people like lots of butter on their popcorn. "@Lybbe you are right about the popcorn but to me, it's just a vehicle for eating butter and parmaesan cheese" was posted on Twitter…
“Money can buy a lot of things, but it doesn’t wiggle its butt every time you come in the door”
"Money can buy a lot of things, but it doesn’t wiggle its butt every time you come in the door" -- that is, money can't buy a dog's love -- is a saying that has been printed…
Four Rules of Plumbing (joke)
"Three Rules of Plumbing" or "Three Laws of Plumbing" -- sometimes four -- is a jocular list that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown, but the rules/laws have…
Three Laws of Plumbing (joke)
"Three Rules of Plumbing" or "Three Laws of Plumbing" -- sometimes four -- is a jocular list that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown, but the rules/laws have…
“Don’t let the same snake bite you twice”
"Don't/Never let the same snake bite you twice" is a proverbial saying that has been printed on many images. It's similar to the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool…
“Never let the same snake bite you twice”
"Don't/Never let the same snake bite you twice" is a proverbial saying that has been printed on many images. It's similar to the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool…
“A high five is just a multiplayer clap”
A "high five" involves two people, and is often seen in sports. "a high five is just a multiplayer clap" was posted on Twitter by roguax on December 16, 2014. "A high five…
Three Rules of Plumbing (joke)
"Three Rules of Plumbing" or "Three Laws of Plumbing" -- sometimes four -- is a jocular list that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown, but the rules/laws have…
“What do lawyers eat for a snack?”/“Trial mix.”
"Trail mix" is not spelled as "trial mix," but there are jokes. "What do lawyers snack on in court? Trial mix" was posted on Twitter by Jim Davies on April 30, 2010.…
“Due to travel restrictions, the United States had to invade itself this year”
"Due to travel restrictions, America/United States/USA had to invade itself this year" is a jocular saying that had been printed on many images. The travel restrictions are because of the…
“Due to travel restrictions, the USA had to invade itself this year”
"Due to travel restrictions, America/United States/USA had to invade itself this year" is a jocular saying that had been printed on many images. The travel restrictions are because of the…
“Due to travel restrictions, this year the United States had to organize the coup at home”
"Due to travel restrictions, America/United States/USA had to invade itself this year" is a jocular saying that had been printed on many images. The travel restrictions are because of the…
“What do juries eat when on break?”/“Trial mix.”
"Trail mix" is not spelled as "trial mix," but there are jokes. "What do lawyers snack on in court? Trial mix" was posted on Twitter by Jim Davies on April 30, 2010.…
“My wife told me I’ve grown as a person. Her actual words were, ‘You’ve gotten fat’”
Spiritual growth and physical growth are different, but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 19, 2021: "My wife told me I’ve grown as a person. Her actual word…
“What do judges like to snack on?”/“Trial mix.”
"Trail mix" is not spelled as "trial mix," but there are jokes. "What do lawyers snack on in court? Trial mix" was posted on Twitter by Jim Davies on April 30, 2010.…
“My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?” (joke)
A joke about a wife getting a husband to do chores was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 1, 2020, and again on Reddit -- Jokes on January 19, 2021: My wife: You need to do more chores around…
“How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“The real question is…”
"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?" is a lightbulb joke with many answers. "How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They…
“How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”/“We may never know the truth.”
"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?" is a lightbulb joke with many answers. "How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They…
“Whenever I drive into a parking garage with a low ceiling, I duck my head down in my car”
"I tend to duck my head a little when I pull into the airport-parking garage so I don't hit my head" was printed in the book Women Fly (2001) by Martha Dreskin. "Today, I…
“Apparently, a cat has caught COVID-19. Don’t ask meow!”
A COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic joke is that a cat got Covid-19, or that a cat gave Covid-19 to its owner. The punchline: "Don't ask meow." ("Don't ask me how.")…