“I don’t understand why banks get upset when you can’t repay a loan…” (joke)
"I don't understand why banks get upset when you can't repay a loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“April showers bring mud puddles”
"April showers bring May flowers" is a proverb from at least the 1500s. "April showers bring (May) mud (puddles)" is a variation that has been printed on several images.…
“God shared his grapes with me” (“America the Beautiful” mondegreen)
"God shared his grapes with me" is a mondegreen of "God shed his grace on thee," a line in the patriotic hymn "America the Beautiful." The misheard lyric has been…
“José, can you see” (“Star-Spangled Banner” mondegreen)
"José, can you see" is a popular mondegreen of "O say can you see," the first line in Francis Scott Key's "Star-Spangled Banner" (the U.S. national anthem).…
“Hey, remember when you didn’t need coffee to function and your back didn’t hurt?”
"Remember when you didn't need coffee to function and your back didn't hurt?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular in October 2019, but…
“Expecting truth from corporate media is like expecting love from a prostitute”
"Expecting truth from corporate media is like expecting love from a prostitute. That's not why they exist" was printed on a meme on Twitter by The Free Thought Project 2.0 on March…
“My advice is to invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return”
"Invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "My advice is..." or "My dog's advice is..." often…
“Always get the big bottle. Better safe than sober”
"Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better safe than sober" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Always buy a bigger bottle. Better safe than…
“If only closed minds came with closed mouths”
"If only closed minds came with closed mouths" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF ONLY CLOSED MINDS CAME WITH CLOSED MOUTHS," credited to Nicole Aitoro of New…
“Always buy the bigger bottle… Better safe than sober”
"Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better safe than sober" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Always buy a bigger bottle. Better safe than…
“Invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return”
"Invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "My advice is..." or "My dog's advice is..." often…
“Sweet Jesus implies there is an existence of spicy Jesus, salty Jesus and sour Jesus”
"Sweet Jesus!" is an exclamation. It does not imply other flavors of Jesus, but there are jokes. "You know what I like better than Sweet Jesus? that would be Sweet 'n' Sour…
“What is a chef’s favorite soft drink?”/“Baking soda.”
A chef riddle is: Q: What is a chef's favorite soft drink?A: Baking soda. The riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on April 4, 2022. Wikipedia: Sodium bicarbonateSodium bicarbonate or…
“Oh sweet Jesus. Oh sour Jesus. Oh BBQ Jesus. Oh cool ranch Jesus. Oh Doritos locos tacos Jesus”
"Sweet Jesus!" is an exclamation. It does not imply other flavors of Jesus, but there are jokes. "You know what I like better than Sweet Jesus? that would be Sweet 'n' Sour…
“What do you call 52 pieces of bread?”/“A deck of carbs.”
"Deck of cards" is different than a "deck of carbs," but there are jokes. "A loaf of bread is really just a deck of carbs" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on…
“What do you call 52 slices of bread?”/“A deck of carbs.”
"Deck of cards" is different than a "deck of carbs," but there are jokes. "A loaf of bread is really just a deck of carbs" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on…
“A loaf of bread is really just a deck of carbs”
"Deck of cards" is different than a "deck of carbs," but there are jokes. "A loaf of bread is really just a deck of carbs" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on…
Appley Ever After (Apple-y Ever After)
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
“Adam and Eve lived appley ever after”
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
Applely Ever After
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…