“Goin’ to hell.”/“Get off at Hempstead.” (joke)
An old joke is told about a drunk who got on a train at Houston that was traveling to Austin. The conductor asked for the drunk's ticket, but he had none. "Where do you think you're…
Search
Searched for . Search results: 37400
“‘Onced’ and ‘twiced’ are words”
Entry in progress -- B.P. British Expat Discussion Forumdoctor scrumpySep 2nd 2003, 11:55 am Things I've Learned About Virginia (...)Onced and Twiced are words. Southern Maryland Community…
“You’re in Texas—it’s a local call (to God)” (joke)
An old telephone joke is about a person who asks the operator about his long distance charge. The charge is very high. "Why, in Texas, I can call hell for that!" the person says. The…
“Cheese and rice!” or “Cheese and crackers!” or “Cheese and crust!” (“Jesus Christ!”)
Entry in progress -- B.P. WiktionaryInterjectioncheese and rice!1. Euphemism or minced oath for Jesus Christ Urban Dictionarycheese and rice July 20, 2008 Urban Word of the Day This is a less…
Applesauce or Apple Sauce (slang for “nonsense”)
Entry in progress -- B.P. (Historical Dictionary of American Slang)applesauce n.1. Theat. silly, trite comedy.1918 Variety (Apr. 12) (vaudeville sec.) 7: Just to be back slipping on a little…
Banana Oil (slang for “nonsense”)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Milt GrossMilt Gross (March 4, 1895 – November 29, 1953), was an American comic strip and comic book writer, illustrator, and animator. He wrote his comics in…
“Tough tomatoes!”
"Tough tomato" described a tough boxer ("one tough hombre" is now used) by as early as 1922. Jack Conway of Variety had described club fighters (with more heart than physical…
“Second Prize: Two weeks in Philadelphia/ Chicago/ Los Angeles/ Texas” (joke)
The old quiz show joke goes that first prize is one week in Philadelphia and second prize is TWO weeks in Philadelphia. The Philadelphia joke version has been the most popular and appears in print…
Pizza Face (Pizzaface)
A "pizza face" (or "pizza-face," "pizzaface") is a person with face full of pimples. The allusion is to the cheese on the pizza, which bubbles up on the best pizzeria…
“Do you want fries with that shake?”
George Clinton's song and music video, "Do Fries Go with That Shake?" (1986), added a pun to the familiar phrase, "Do you want fries with that?" The "shake" is…
“Do you want fries with that?”
"Do you want (french) fries with that?" is a frequent question that's asked customers at McDonald's drive-thrus -- so frequent that the question has reached iconic status. The…
“Stock to a cook is voice to a singer” (“Chicken to a cook is like a canvas to a painter”)
"A chicken to a cook is like a canvas to a painter" is a modern interpretation of a statement in Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin's The Physiology of Taste (1825). The usual English…
“What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?”/“Reservations!”
"King of the one-liners" Henny Youngman (1906-1998) told many jokes about his wife, such as "Take my wife -- please!" In 1981, Youngman said this about his wife's cooking:…
Wall Street of the Southwest or Wall Street of Texas (The Strand in Galveston)
The city of Galveston thrived from after the Civil War (1865) until the great storm that destroyed the city (1900). Galveston's port was the third busiest in the United States. The Strand (or…
Wall Street of the Southwest (The Strand in Galveston)
The city of Galveston thrived from after the Civil War (1865) until the great storm that destroyed the city (1900). Galveston's port was the third busiest in the United States. The Strand (or…
Smithsonian of Texas (Panhandle-Plains Historical Museum)
The Panhandle-Plains Historical Museum in Canyon, Texas, was called "the Smithsonian of Texas" by its director, Guy C. Vanderpool, in the November 2007 Texas Highways. The PPHM is the…
Candy Bar (Chocolate Bar)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Candy barA chocolate bar is a confection in bar form comprising some or all of the following components: cocoa solids, cocoa butter, sugar, milk. The relative…
How Staten Island got its name (“Is that an island?” joke)
Staten Island was named in honor of the States General in the Netherlands, but an alternative joke etymology spread in the 1930s and 1940s and is still told. The Dutch explorers came into New York…
“Shoot O’Malley twice” (Brooklyn Dodger joke)
Brooklyn Dodger fans never forgave owner Walter O'Malley for moving the Dodgers from Brooklyn to Los Angeles in 1958. A joke was told: Q: If you were in a room with Hitler, Stalin and…
“Get It First, But First Get It Right” (International News Service)
"Get It First, But First Get It Right" was the slogan of the International New Service (INS), founded by newspaper publisher William Randolph Hearst in 1909. The slogan is cited in print…