“Good friends give you food. Best friends take your food”
Entry in progress -- B.P. “Friends buy you a lunch. Best friends eat your lunch” is a related saying. TwitterFUNNY TWEETS @JokesMemesFactsGood friends give you food. Best friends take your…
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“Lazy rule: If ice falls, kick it under the fridge”
"Lazy rule: If ice falls, kick it under the fridge" is a jocular rule about fallen ice cubes that has been printed on several images. "When ice falls on the floor from the crappy…
“We’ve been married so long we’re on our second bottle of Tabasco”
Tabasco sauce is a hot sauce that many people buy, but seldom use. "We've been married so long we're on our second bottle of Tabasco" is a joke that has been printed on several…
“I like school. I just don’t enjoy the learning part”
Many people like school for socializing, but not for the schoolwork. "I like school, I just don't enjoy the learning part" was posted on Twitter by FUNNY TWEETS on January 9, 2017.…
“Not all goodbyes are sad. Example: ‘Goodbye, class’”
"Not all goodbyes are sad. Example: 'Goodbye, class'" is a jocular school saying that has been printed on many images. "Not all goodbyes are bad. Especially if the goodbye…
Live It Fully Everyday (“life” backronym)
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterFUNNY TWEETS @JokesMemesFacts[L]ive [I]t [F]ully [E]veryday4:56 PM - 8 May 2017
“Teachers are sometimes like an alarm clock. They won’t shut up when you’re trying to sleep”
"Teachers are sometimes like an alarm clock. They won't shut up when you're trying to sleep" is a school saying that has been printed on several images. "Teachers are like…
Big Apple Dance
The Big Apple dance craze of 1937 popularized the "Big Apple" term, but didn't originate it. New York (NY) Morning Telegraph track writer John J. Fitz Gerald (1893-1963) had been…
“Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world, right?”
"Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world, right?" is a jocular line about radio (from a frustrated listener) that has been printed on many images.…
“Everything’s funnier when you’re not allowed to laugh”
"Everything's funnier when you're not allowed to laugh" is a saying that's appropriate in many situations (such as government, business and schools) and that has been…
“If one teacher can’t teach every subject, why does one student have to learn them all?”
"If one teacher can't teach every subject, why does one student have to learn them all?" is an education question that has been printed on an image. "If one Teacher can’t…
“Dear Tequila, we had a deal last night. You were supposed to make me funnier, smarter…”
"Dear Alcohol/Tequila/Vodka/Wine, we had a deal last night. You were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. But I saw the video. I think we need to talk" is a jocular…
“My study breaks are longer than my actual study time”
"My study breaks are longer than my actual study time" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by True Teen Quotes on September 8, 2010.…
“In the restaurant: ‘Would you like a table?’ ‘No, a lamp for 5 please.’”
A jocular response to an obvious restaurant question is: WAITER: Would you like a table?A: No, a lamp for 5 please. The joke was posted on Twitter by FUNNY TWEETS on October 7, 2012, and has been…
“In what key does the ghost play piano?”/“In the spoo-key.”
A ghost riddle about music was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on July 4, 2017: Q: In what key does the ghost play piano?A: In the spoo-key. Reddit -- 3amjokesIn what key does the ghost play piano?…
“Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world? Sincerely, iPod”
"Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world, right?" is a jocular line about radio (from a frustrated listener) that has been printed on many images.…
“My baker never uses chocolate chips in his cookies. It’s okay, I’m sure he has his raisins”
Raisins are sometimes used for chocolate chips -- or the word "reasons." A joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on July 3, 2017: "My friend the baker never uses chocolate chips in…
“What do transgenders put on their salad?”/“Crossdressing.”
Diners put dressing on their salad, but what about crossdressing? "Cross-dressing is what transvestite nuns put on their salad" was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2013. "What do…
“The 8th deadly sin is leaving a friend a voicemail”
Many people hate voicemail messages. "Leaving voicemail messages should be the 8th deadly sin" was posted on Twitter on January 3, 2012. "The 8th deadly sin is leaving a friend a…
“Your finest Scotch, please” (Scotch tape joke)
There's a difference between Scotch whisky and Scotch tape, but there have been several jokes. "A glass of your finest Scotch tape" was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2015.…