“Apparently, a cat has caught COVID-19. Don’t ask meow!”
A COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic joke is that a cat got Covid-19, or that a cat gave Covid-19 to its owner. The punchline: "Don't ask meow." ("Don't ask me how.")…
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“Due to travel restrictions, America had to invade itself this year”
"Due to travel restrictions, America/United States/USA had to invade itself this year" is a jocular saying that had been printed on many images. The travel restrictions are because of the…
“A colleague from work has just texted saying he’s caught Covid from his cat. Don’t ask meow”
A COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic joke is that a cat got Covid-19, or that a cat gave Covid-19 to its owner. The punchline: "Don't ask meow." ("Don't ask me how.")…
“How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“Do your own research.”
"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?" is a lightbulb joke with many answers. "How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They…
“I duck my head down while pulling into a parking garage to make sure my car fits”
"I tend to duck my head a little when I pull into the airport-parking garage so I don't hit my head" was printed in the book Women Fly (2001) by Martha Dreskin. "Today, I…
“How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?”/None. The Illuminati did it!”
"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?" is a lightbulb joke with many answers. "How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They…
“How do you get a pound of meat out of a fly?”/“Unzip it.”
An NSFW riddle is: Q: How do you get a pound of meat out of a fly?A: Unzip it. A "fly" is small and has almost no meat, but the "fly" in the joke is a zipper. Sometimes "a…
“If all the toilets in your house are occupied and you are waiting for one to be free…”
"Practical advice: If all the toilets in your house are occupied and you are waiting for one to be free, switch off the wi-fi" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My boss calls me ‘The Computer.’ I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes”
"My friends call me 'The Computer'. Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes" was posted on Twitter by Ben on May 20, 2015.…
“What do you call an indecisive potato?”/“A hesi-tater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“Why do people pull their mask down to listen better?”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many people wearing face masks. Some people took off their masks to listen to another person, even though the face masks have nothing to do with…
“What do you call an uncertain potato?”/“A hesitater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“What do you call a reluctant potato?”/“A hesitater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“Barbecuing waters my mouth. I wonder if the same thing happens to vegans when they mow the lawn”
"When your steaks on the grill and your mouth starts to water. I wonder if the same thing happens to vegans when they mow the lawn" is an anti-vegan saying that was posted on Twitter by…
“Why did the apple turnover?”/“Because it saw the cheese roll.”
There are several apple turnover riddles that involve a jelly roll, a cheese roll and a sausage roll. This was printed in the Uniontown (PA) Evening Standard on August 3, 1961: Q: Why did the apple…
Hawaii: “Why do Cyclops have trouble spelling Hawaii?”/“You need two ‘i’s.’”
A joke about spelling "Hawaii" was posted on Twitter by Jon on October 30, 2017: CYCLOPS: How do u spell Hawaii?WIFE [biting lip] well..u need 2 i'sCYCLOPS [puts pen down] my life is…
“What do you call a cautious potato?/“A hesitater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“Why did the apple turnover?”/“Because it saw the sausage roll.”
There are several apple turnover riddles that involve a jelly roll, a cheese roll and a sausage roll. This was printed in the Uniontown (PA) Evening Standard on August 3, 1961: Q: Why did the apple…
“Why did the apple turnover?”/“Because it saw the jelly roll.”
There are several apple turnover riddles that involve a jelly roll, a cheese roll and a sausage roll. This was printed in the Uniontown (PA) Evening Standard on August 3, 1961: Q: Why did the apple…
“Am I perfect? No. But am I trying to be a better person? Also no”
"Am I perfect? No. But am I trying to be a better person? Also no" is a jocular and all-too-realistic saying that has been printed on many images. "Am I a good person? No. But am I…