A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Somewhere between a donut and a juice cleanse” (7/13)
“Somewhere between a doughnut and a juice cleanse” (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP47 (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP46 (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP45 (7/13)
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“In most cases, cell phones won’t crack when you drop them”

“You know you’re good friends with someone when you know your way around their kitchen”

“It’s OK not to be OK. Some days are just harder than others”

“Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove”

“Every day is one step closer to summer”

Finger Food

“I threw out animal crackers because the box said, ‘Do not consume if seal is broken’”

I Eta Pi (fictional fraternity)

Iota Eta Pi (fictional fraternity)

Othello (chocolate-covered sponge cake)

Constant Bull Shit (CBS nickname)

“Do not drink and drive, because there are people out there who text and drive”

Love Handle (fat at the waist)

Sock Hop (Sox Hop)

“Working hard or hardly working?”

Woke Capitalism

“Wet as an otter’s pocket” (very wet)

“To do the impossible, you need to ignore the popular”

“You can be right, or you can be rich”

“Cricket is an uncertain game”

“Wetter than an otter’s pocket” (very wet)

“My boss phoned to ask how large my coffee mug is. It was a big weigh cup call”

“The gift that keeps on giving”

“The gift that keeps on giving” (an interest-bearing savings account)

“I don’t date below 14th Street” (dating adage)

“They say I have the best ass below 14th Street”

“Arms are for hugging” (anti-nuke, gun control slogan)

“My homework ate my dog”

“One.”/“How many time travelers does it take to ruin a joke?”

“Tell me one thing wrong with overstocking grocery shelves. Go on. Aisle weight”

Doorman (Door Man)

Doorperson (Door Person)

Doorwoman (Door Woman)

“What crisps are named after an Arab ruler?”/“Sultan Vinegar.” (salt & vinegar)

“What do we want?”/“Hearing aids!”/“When do we want them?”/“HEARING AIDS!”

“My fine feathered friend” (usually said of a chicken)

“Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority?”/“Because they don’t like Dick’s.”

ThemTube (YouTube nickname)

“Hire for attitude, train for skills”

“I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today”

“Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?”/“Because tennis too many.”

“If you get heartburn eating birthday cake, try taking the candles off”

“Sufferin’ succotash” (“Suffering succotash”)

“Let the chips fall where they may” (to allow events to unfold naturally)

“Short arms and long pockets” (stingy)

“Long pockets and short arms” (stingy)

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand”

“Let’s blow this pop stand”

“The ideal man doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t exist”

ScrewTube (YouTube nickname)

“I keep asking what LGBTQ stands for, but I never get a straight answer”

“Let’s blow this popcorn stand”

“I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth”

“Madder than a wet hen” (very mad)

“You’re the cheese to my macaroni”

“All gurgle and no guts”

“Which knight is the protector of foods?”/“Sir Anwrap.”

“Cricket is a batsman’s game”

“I keep hitting the space bar, but I’m still on Earth”

“Mad as a wet hen” (very mad)

“Mad as a box of frogs” (very mad)

“Lipstick on a pig” (superficial attempt to make ugliness pretty)

“I don’t know you from Adam’s off ox”

“Mad as a bag of ferrets” (very mad)

“Mad as a ferret” (very mad)

“Madder than a sackful of ferrets” (very mad)

“Madder than a box of frogs” (very mad)

“Lipstick on a corpse” (superficial attempt to make ugliness pretty)





“Words have wings, so speak good things”

“If serving is below you, leadership is beyond you”

“If serving is beneath you, leadership is beyond you”

“If service is below you, leadership is beyond you”

“If service is beneath you, leadership is beyond you”

“North is a direction. The South is a lifestyle”

“Pain is temporary, film is forever” (film adage)

“The hotel towels were so thick, I could hardly close my suitcase”

“There’s a tweet for everything”

“Behind the eight ball” (in a troublesome situation)

“Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person”

“When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra”

Carnegie-Ford-Rockefeller (Council on Foreign Relations or CFR nickname)

“What’s the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?”/“One sells watches, one watches cells.”

“Eat my shorts!”

Bear Claw (pastry)

“I met my girlfriend at an African language class. We just clicked!”

Bismarck (pastry)

“Why don’t hamburger buns get along?”/“There’s always beef between them.”

Snail (pastry)

Butterhorn (pastry)

“Someone stole some of my rap CDs. Oh well, no biggie”

Bear Market

Bull Market

TheyTube (YouTube nickname)

Floater Coffee (cream coffee)

Beau Broadway (Bo Broadway)

Bo Broadway (Beau Broadway)

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