A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Somewhere between a donut and a juice cleanse” (7/13)
“Somewhere between a doughnut and a juice cleanse” (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP47 (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP46 (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP45 (7/13)
More new entries...

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Meekly Standard (Weekly Standard nickname)

Full Ginsburg (to appear on all Sunday morning news shows)

Fishing Expedition

“A town so small, people only lock their car doors during the zucchini harvest”

Republicunt (Republican + cunt)

Check Pants Republican (Check Pants Conservative)

Old York Times (New York Times nickname)

Six-Year Itch

“Safety is when nothing happens”

Calatrasaurus (Santiago Calatrava-designed World Trade Center Transportation Hub)

“He who opens a school door, closes a prison gate”

“If it were a real $20 bill, someone would have picked it off the sidewalk already” (economics joke)

“Navy has a tough schedule!” (college football joke)

“Here’s a house without a flaw” (real estate joke)

“How does an attorney sleep?” (lawyer joke)

“A jury is one thing that never works when it’s fixed”

The Turk (person to cut a player from the team)

“Zombies hate fast food”

“I run because I really like food”

“Avoid any food that has a TV commercial”

“The more you tell, the more you sell” (marketing adage)

“Ps get degrees” (P=passing grade)

“States are the laboratories of democracy”

Environmental Propaganda Agency (Environmental Protection Agency or EPA nickname)

“Trust your neighbor, but brand your cattle”

“I wouldn’t start from here” (joke)

Now Spying on Americans (National Security Agency or NSA nickname)

“If you don’t take money, they can’t tell you what to do”

“The last three outs are different” (baseball adage)

Cape Codder (cocktail)

Sea Breeze (cocktail)

Bay Breeze (cocktail)

“Cricket is basically baseball on Valium”

“Can’t hit the broad side of a barn” (baseball saying)

“‘Moderate Republican’—that’s kind of like having a gun rack on a Volvo”

“‘Need’ now means wanting someone else’s money; ‘greed’ means keeping your own”

“I have never understood why it is ‘greed’ to want to keep the money you have earned”

British Brainwashing Corporation (British Broadcasting Corporation or BBC nickname)

“Throw nickels like manhole covers” (stingy)

“If actors are having fun, the audience will have fun, too” (theatre adage)


British Bullshit Corporation (British Broadcasting Corporation or BBC nickname)

“I grew up surrounded by poverty—my maid was poor, my butler was poor ...” (joke)

Department of Paperwork

Big Agbalumo (Lagos nickname)

Rat Pack

CTFK (Catch The Falling Knife)

Brat Pack

“What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis” (joke)

“The difference between the Boy Scouts and the Army is that the Scouts have adult supervision”

“Play me or trade me”

Lone Star Tick

“Then you were a prospect and now you are a client” (joke)

“Everyone thinks they are an expert in education because they went to school”

“Baseball is a game of adjustments”

“You can’t make a soufflĂ© rise twice”

Popera (pop/popular + opera)

“The best gun is the one you have with you”

“There are two types of windows—windows that leak and windows that will leak”

“Cake solves everything”

“Everyone looks good in shorts” (football adage)

“I hit two great balls on the golf course—I stepped on a rake” (joke)

New York’s Biggest Little Zoo (Staten Island Zoo)

“I went to the corner shop—bought four corners” (joke)

“One of my chief regrets is that I couldn’t sit in the audience and watch me act”

“What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to”

“What line of work should you recommend to an alcoholic, scruffy bum with an attitude?” (joke)

“Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises…”

“Don’t wail on the scale if you cheat when you eat”

Snoopy Bowl (Giants vs. Jets at MetLife Stadium)

Spine of Texas (Interstate 35)

“Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody”

“There’s always room for Jell-O”

“There’s always room for dessert”

“A man’s health can be judged by which he takes two at a time: pills or stairs”

“Criminal Law: See bad people at their best; Family Law: See good people at their worst”

“How do you get an actor off your front porch?” (joke)

“Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians”

Jack Rose (cocktail)

“Weather forecast for tonight: dark”

SHCOOL (failed spelling of “school”)

“God gives every bird its food, but does not throw it into the nest”

“If you’ve seen one chamber of commerce, you’ve seen one chamber of commerce”

“Hard work is equal to prayer”

Corporate News Network (CNN nickname)

“I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere”