“How long will the next bus be?”/“Same length as this one.”
People at a bus stop often ask how long the wait until the next bus will be. “How long will the next bus be?” they ask.
“Same length as this one” is a joke reply from the bus driver or the bus dispatcher. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1927.
“Diner: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long? Waiter: No, they’ll be round,” “Diner: Waiter, will my pizza be long? Waiter: No, sir, it will be round” and “Diner: How long will my spaghetti be? Waiter: I don’t know. We never measure it” are related jokes.
Newspapers.com
10 May 1927, Evening Chronicle (Newcastle upon Tyne, UK), “All Sorts of Gossip,” pg. 4, col. 3:
Heard This One?
Five times on the North Road had the tiresome old lady asked of the waiting inspector: “How long will the next ‘bus be, my man?”
And then he replied, “Same as the last one, 22 feet.”
Newspapers.com
24 January 1958, Manchester (UK) Evening News, “As Others See Us” by Max Bygraves, pg. 10, col. 3:
I remember waiting for a bus many years ago in Salford. One came along full and the conductor was very harassed as people piled on. I got to the platform. he then shouted, “That’s the lot!” I said, “How long will the next bus be?” Without batting an eyelid he said, “Eighteen foot six, same as this one.” Then he rang the bell and the bus disappeared up the road.
Newspapers.com
26 February 1966, Calgary (Alberta) Herald, “Johnny Hopkins reports,” pg. 25, col. 1:
And back to buses for a moment. I like the delightful reply to the lady’s question: “How long will the next bus be?” Replied the weary manager: “Exactly, madam, the same length as the last one.”
Newspapers.com
17 October 1969, Gastonia (NC) Gazette, “Huss To Shoot Down Eagles” by Fearless, pg. 3-C, col. 1:
Off the field, folks are always saying smart-alec things to me. For instance, I was waiting on a bus the other day and asked a guy: “Say, mister, how long will the next bus be?”
And he replied: “I understand it’s going to be 32 feet and eight inches long.”
Newspapers.com
28 December 1970, Vancouver (BC) Sun, “Sun-Ray Club” by Uncle Ben, pg. 38, col. 7:
Lady: “how long will the next bus be?”
Disgusted Driver: “The same as this one lady—46 feet.”
Newspapers.com
21 April 1977, The Advertiser (Alderley Edge, UK), “Joke of the Week,” pg. 8, col. 1:
Woman: How long will the next bus be?
Inspector: The same length as all the others.
Newspapers.com
3 May 1982, Philadelphia (PA) Daily News, “Chain-Smoker Not One of SEPTA’s Biggest Fans” by Phantom Rider, pg. 39, col. 2:
“How long will the next bus be?” asked the commuter in front of Phantom Rider.
“About 40 feet,” replied The Voice of the Riding Public.
EVERYBODY ALONG the line began to laugh except for one tall, fat man who was chain-smoking Camels.
Googel Books
What’s Your Glory!
By Albert L. Lewis
(Publisher not identified.—ed.}
1984
Pg. 39:
On his way back to the bus, a woman stopped him and said, “How long will the next bus be?” He replied, “Madam, as long as this one is.”
23 November 1991, New York (NY) Times, “About New York” by Douglas Martin, pg. 27, col. 2:
A bus driver once reported being asked how long will the next bus be—a common enough, though grammatically murky expression. He replied, “About 19 feet.”
29 January 1998, The Globe and Mail (Toronto, ON), pg. A1, col. 1:
Your morning smile
Thursday, January 29, 1998
Commuter to bus driver: How long will the next bus be?
Harried driver: The same length as this one.
Google Groups: alt.society.nottingham
Nottingham traffic sucks
hard
Mar 26, 2000, 3:00:00 AM
(...)
How long will the next bus be?
About 32 feet same as this one.
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Puns of the Weak 4/6/01
Stan Kegel
Apr 9, 2001, 5:37:17 AM
(...)
“How long will the next bus be, Officer?” “About eight yards, Ma’am.”
(Beckie Shiles)
Twitter
David Moulton
@exframebuilder
Replying to @Eyebee
@Eyebee I asked a bus driver, “How long will the next bus be?” He said, “About the same length as this one.”
9:24 AM · Aug 12, 2009
Twitter
Bennijingle 🎄
@bennijin
Ahaha, On The Buses is on, classic British comedy. “How long will the next bus be?” “About 38 feet.”
12:43 PM · Apr 5, 2010
Twitter
Tony Blackburn
@tonyblackburn
” How long will the next bus be ?” ” About 18ft “
1:31 AM · Oct 10, 2013
Bleacher Report
Shabba, Sheedy and Sweden ‘58: 3 Men Whose Lives Were Changed by the World Cup
RICHARD FITZPATRICK
JUNE 23, 2018
(...)
The England team stayed in the Park Avenue Hotel in the middle of Gothenburg. Glanville remembers Bobby Charlton, England’s 20-year-old attacking-midfield genius, only once telling a joke. It was in the lounge of the hotel, and it was about a bus queue in the north-east of England, where Charlton grew up. A man in the queue, who was unable to get on the bus, asked: “How long will the next bus be?” The bus conductor replied: “About as long as this one.”
Twitter
QwazyQuokka
@Girlie4
“How long will the next bus be?” Some bloke asked me as I was waiting at the bus stop.
“Probably the same length as all the other ones…” I replied.
2:34 AM · Sep 6, 2018
Twitter
Mark Fletcher-Single
@single_fletcher
lady at bus stop: how long will the next bus be?
me: about 60ft
lady at bus stop: (silence)
me: 🙂
lady at bus stop: (silence)
1:26 PM · Oct 16, 2019
Twitter
Doc
@DocAtCDI
I asked the bus driver
“How long will the next bus be”
he replied
“Same length as this one…”
12:36 PM · Oct 3, 2020
Twitter
Shoeb Molvi
@ShoebMolvi
I’ve just asked this bus driver how long will the next bus be. He said..“The same length as this one”👀
4:07 AM · Feb 20, 2022
Twitter
teihetogeast
@teihetogeast
I asked the bus driver “How long will the next bus be?” He replied “Same length as this one
1:40 AM · Jul 4, 2022
Twitter
Gordon Brown
@KTMGordo
Replying to @N0TINSERVICE
How long will the next bus be?
About 12 metres…
6:14 AM · Jul 12, 2022
Twitter
Barry Mulligan
@BazzaCC
I asked the bus driver “How long will the next bus be?”
He replied “Same length as this one.” 😳😳
8:57 PM · Jul 26, 2022