“Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight by Standing Up as Soon as Plane Lands” (satirical news headline)

Many people who travel on an airplane begin to stand up as soon as the plane lands—sometimes even before the “fasten seat belt” sign is turned off. This perhaps saves a small amount of time. If that person has checked baggage, then it doesn’t save any time at all. Passengers could be put at risk if the plane makes a sudden movement while taxiing.
 
“Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight by Standing Up as Soon as Plane Lands” is a satirical news headline that was printed in The Shovel (Australia) on February 15, 2018.
 
   
The Shovel
February 15, 2018
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight by Standing Up as Soon as Plane Lands
A Sydney businessman has arrived at his destination almost two full seconds before his fellow passengers, after bolting up into the aisle the moment the fasten seatbelt sign went off.
 
John Doverton, 48, stood smugly in the aisle for six minutes, gaining a clear advantage over his dumb fellow passengers who, incredibly, remained seated for the entire time.
 
X/Twitter
The Shovel
@TheShovel
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands http://theshovel.com.au/2018/02/15/man-shaves-1-7-seconds-off-2-hour-flight-by-standing-up-as-soon-as-plane-lands/
6:28 PM · Feb 14, 2018
 
Reddit—Funny
worldofsmut—February 15, 2018
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
(The Shovel news story is shown.—ed.)
 
iFunny
Missourinative91
17 feb 2024
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands By The Shovel
 
X/Twitter
The Shovel
@TheShovel
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight by Standing Up as Soon as Plane Lands
From theshovel.com.au
2:07 AM · Sep 10, 2024