“Golfer’s Diet: Live on greens as much as possible”

“Golfer’s Diet: Live on greens as much as possible” is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1936. In the widely reprinted joke, a wife tells her husband that he’s golfing too much, but the husband reminds her that the doctor told him to “live on greens (i.e., green vegetables, not golfing greens) as much as possible.”
 
In a 1918 newspaper comic titled “The Golfer’s Diet,” however, a wife asked a doctor if her husband could eat meat. ““Yes. He may have a little link sausage,” the doctor replied.
 
“My doctor said I need to eat more greens, so I’m switching to mint chocolate chip ice cream” and “The doctor said I can only eat greens, so I went on a dye it” are other “greens” jokes.
 
   
Word Decor ‘n More
A GOLFER’S DIET…
Live on greens
as much as
possible!
(includes golf clubs and golf bag wall art in same color as wording)
         
11 December 1918, Boston (MA) Daily Globe, pg. 1, col. 1:
THE GOLFER’S DIET
“My husband has taken up golf. Do you think he can eat meat now, doctor?”
“Yes. He may have a little link sausage.”
 
18 September 1936, Lethbridge (Alberta) Herald, pg. 4, col. 6:
“You might stay at home a little bit more,” complained a wife to her husband. “You’re everlastingly out playing golf.”

“I know, my dear,” replied hubby, “but you know the doctor told me to live on greens as much as possible.”—Exchange.
 
Google News Archive
18 October 1937, Paintsville (OH) Telegraph, “Dinner Stories,” pg. 4, col. 3:
FOLLOWING ORDERS
“You might stay at home a bit more,” complained a wfie to her husband. “You’re everlastingly out playing golf.”
 
“I know, my dear,” he replied, “but didn’t the doctor tell me to live on greens as much as possible?”
 
28 May 1964, Rockford (IL) Register-Republic, pg. 12B, col. 1:
NICELY PUTT: “You might stay at home a little more,” complained a wife to her husband. “You’re always out playing golf.”
 
“I know, dear, but it’s doctor’s orders. Don’t you remember he told me to live on greens as much as possible.”—Irish Digest.

Peninsula Clarion (Kenai, AK)
Final days
Birch Ridge report
Posted: Thursday, September 28, 2006
By Sharon Keating
(...)
My favorite diet is known as the “golfer’s diet,” which is really simple. All you have to do is live on greens as much as possible.
 
Google Books
Chicken Soup for the Soul:
Tales of Golf and Sport:
The Joy, Frustration, and Humor of Golf and Sport
By Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
New York, NY: Simon & Schuster
2008
Pg. ?:
A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible. ~Author Unknown