“The best thing to come out of Dallas/Houston is I-45”
Interstate 45 (I-45) runs between the cities of Dallas and Houston. When people (usually sports fans) from one of those cities hurl insults at the other city, a popular phrase is: "The best…
“The Big OD” & Slowdeatha (Odessa nicknames)
The city of Odessa has the nicknames "The Big OD" (overdose?) and Slowdeatha. Neither is an official city nickname, of course. All About TexasApril 06, 2006 9:39 PM It (Abilene -- ed.)…
“The blackest land and the whitest people” (Greenville, Hunt County, TX)
"Welcome to Greenville. The Blackest Land, The Whitest People" was a sign that existed in Greenville (Hunt County) from 1921 until it was removed in the 1960s. The saying was from…
“The cows are giving evaporated milk” (Texas heat joke)
How hot is it in Texas? It's so hot that "the cows are giving evaporated milk." This "evaporated milk" joke (and many others like it) has been on the internet since at…
“The difference between a farmer and a pigeon is the pigeon can make a deposit on a John Deere”
A standard joke is told whenever there's a financial downturn. "What's the difference between a banker and a pigeon? The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes!" The joke…
“The energy to take you anywhere” (Valero Energy Corporation)
Valero Energy Corporation began in 1980 and takes its name from Mission San Antonio de Valero (better known as the Alamo). The San Antonio-based energy company has many gas stations throughout…
“The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges” (property sign)
"The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges" is a jocular property sign that has been printed on many images. "Notice in a British farm field:…
“The four seasons of Texas: January, Summer, Summerer, Christmas”
Texas is hot. "The four seasons of Texas: January, Summer, Summerer, Christmas" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. TwitterLizzie@lizziesig@wahoogirl718 in #Texas we…
“The Friendly Frontier” and “Keep Abilene Beautiful” (Abilene slogans)
"The Friendly Frontier" has been an Abilene city slogan since 2004. "Keep Abilene Beautiful" has been an Abilene organization since 1986 and has nothing to do with another…
“The higher the hair, the closer to God”
Recording artist k. d. lang said in 1989: "If there's one thing to be learned in Nashville it's thing: The higher the hair, the closer to God." The saying (also given as…
“The Houston Astros/Texas Rangers have won the World Series!” (Texas weather joke)
The heat of Texas -- and the lack of World Series success of the Houston Astro sand the Texas Rangers --have resulted in a "Texan in Hell" joke. The joke has been told about other sports…
“The land is so flat you can watch your dog run away for three days” (joke)
A popular joke is that parts of Texas are so flat and treeless that "you can watch your dog run away for three days." (The time varies; sometimes it's two days or even two weeks.)…
“The Legend Continues” (Galveston slogan)
In 2006, Galveston hired a public relations firm to boost its image. One suggestion was to change its name to "City of Galveston Island," but that was rejected. Another was to add the…
“The Lower Rio Grande Valley is a great place to live—it’s so close to the United States”
The Lower Rio Grande Valley is heavily influenced by Mexico. A current joke is: "The Lower Rio Grande Valley is a great place to live. It's so close to the United States." The joke…
“The national arms are covered with glory” (Ignacio Zaragoza, after the battle of Cinco de Mayo)
Ignacio Zaragoza was born in what is now Goliad, Texas. On May 5, 1962 ("Cinco de Mayo"), he led the Mexican Army sucessfully against the French forces at the Battle of Puebla. General…
“The only people who put ketchup on hot dogs are mental patients and Texans”
"The only people who put ketchup on hot dogs are mental patients and Texans." This quote was in the movie Bad News Bears (2005 version) and also appeared on a T-shirt. About the truth of…
“The only river wet on one side and dry on the other” (Rio Grande during Prohibition)
During the Prohibition era (1920-1933), the Rio Grande was said to be the only river in the world that's "wet" on one side and "dry" on the other. A pointed 1921 newspaper…
“The only thing in Texas that changes faster than the weather is a woman’s mind”
Texas weather can change a lot -- and this has sometimes has been compared to women. The song "Boogie Mama" (from the 1998 album Lone Wolf) by Jerry Jeff Walker begins, "Just like…
“The only thing wrong with Austin is that it’s surrounded by Texas”
The Texas capital city of Austin is more liberal than the rest of the state. "The only thing wrong with Austin is that it's surrounded by Texas" is a saying that has been frequently…
“The opera ain’t over until the fat lady sings”
"Church is never out until they stop singing" is a saying that has been popular since the late 1800s."It ain't over 'til it's over" is a similar saying that has…