“A friend doesn’t go on a diet when you are fat”
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because/when you are fat" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that a friend doesn't make you look bad (fat). The…
“A friend got some vinegar in his ear. Now he suffers from pickled hearing!”
A pun on "pickled herring" is: "A friend got some vinegar in his ear. Now he suffers from pickled hearing!" Forms of the "pickled hearing" joke have been cited in…
“A friend in need is a damned nuisance”
"A friend (when one is in) need is a friend indeed" is an English proverb almost as old as England. An American spin to "a friend in need" defines this as "a needy…
“A friend is like a four-leaf clover—hard to find, lucky to have”
"A best/good friend is like a four-leaf clover -- hard to find, and/but lucky to have" is a friendship saying that has been printed on many images. "A good friend is like a four-leaf…
“A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden”
"A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many javascript:void(0);images. The saying…
“A friend is someone who knows all about you but likes you anyway”
"A friend is someone who knows all about you but likes you anyway" is a popular saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying was written by an unknown ten-year-old schoolboy…
“A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It’s a gnocchia”
Nokia (a Finnish telecommunications, information technology company) and gnocchi (Italian dumplings) shouldn't be confused, but there are jokes. "My new mobile phone is shaped like an…
“A friend of mine invented a washing machine for bank notes. It’s a real money spinner”
The term "money-spinner," used in the United Kingdom and Australia, means "something that generates a continuous income." It doesn't involve the actual spinning of money,…
“A friend of mine is always going on about photography jokes. You just can’t shutter up”
"Shutter" sounds like "shut her," and there are photography jokes. "You can lead a wife to a camera, but you can't shutter up" was posted on the newsgoup…
“A friend of mine takes his cash straight from the ATM and puts it in the washing machine. It’s a real money spinner”
The term "money-spinner," used in the United Kingdom and Australia, means "something that generates a continuous income." It doesn't involve the actual spinning of money,…
“A friend of wine is a friend of mine”
"A/Any friend of wine is a friend of mine" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "Any friend of wine is a friend of mine!" was posted on Twitter on October 23,…
“A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn”
"When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land/world, I nearly fell off my unicorn" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was out riding with my girlfriend.…
“A friend told me that all apples were yellow… I was like, ‘that’s bananas’”
"A friend told me that all apples were yellow... I was like, 'that's bananas'" is a pun that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 12, 2016. "Bananas" can…
“A friend tweeted ‘what’s a simile?’ I clicked the ‘like’ button”
A "like" button on the internet has nothing to do with a simile (a statement that uses "like" or "as"), but there are jokes. This was posted on Sickipedia on January…
“A friend wanted to start collecting dogs. I gave him a couple of pointers”
"Pointer" is a medium-sized breed of pointing dog, and the "pointer" name is used in puns. "A friend wanted to start collecting dogs. I gave him a couple of pointers"…
“A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship”
Colgate Hoyt (1849-1922), an American businessman, said in 1901: "Business founded on friendship is friendship endangered, but friendship founded on business is friendship assured." John…
“A frog walks in to a bar and orders a ‘Wodka’...” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A frog version is: "A frog walks in to a bar and orders a 'Wodka.'…
“A fruit farmer told me: ‘I eat what fruit I can, and what I can’t I can’”
A pun on the two meanings of the word "can" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on April 11, 2023: "A fruit farmer told me: 'I eat what fruit I can, and what I can't I…
“A fruit probably wouldn’t travel to Australia, but a veggie might”
Vegemite (an Australian food spread made from leftover brewers' yeast extract) has had several "veggie might" puns. This was posted to Reddit -- Jokes on January 9, 2017: "A…
“A full mind is an empty bat” (baseball adage)
Baseball players hitting in the batter's box often think too much, resulting in poor performance." "A full mind is an empty bat" is a saying that has been credited to baseball…