“The ghost walks” (theater salaries are paid)
The Free Dictionarythe ghost walksAn expression used in theater to explain that actors will perform because they have been assured of payment. The phrase possibly originated when an actor playing…
“The high school music teacher told his students to read band books”
"Banned books" is sometimes punned as "band books." "Did John Philip Sousa read band books? #bannedbooks" was posted on Twitter on September 24, 2012. "The high…
“The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven’t seen the joke yet”
"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't seen the joke yet" is a classic joke about that musical instrument. "One of the favorite wisecracks of…
“The last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur” (an old joke)
When someone tells on old-old-old joke, the recipient of the joke might reply, "The last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur." The line "fell off my dinosaur" has been used…
“The lonely Trekkie at a Star Wars convention was looking for love in Alderaan places”
"Lookin' for Love (in all the wrong places)" was a son in the movie Urban Cowboy (1980). "Looking for love in Alderaan places" is a Star Wars movie joke. "Honey,…
“The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out”
"The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.puns on March 8, 2002. Magicians often pull a rabbit from a hat; "pull his…
“The movie Blazing Saddles could never be made today…” (anti-joke)
The movie Blazing Saddles (1974) is a comedy classic. Many people say that the movie couldn't be made today because some of the humor is not "politically correct" and could…
“The musician in jail was anxiously awaiting his next release”
"The musician in jail was anxiously awaiting his next release. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on December 14, 2004. The joke originated on the website…
“The next song is all about subtractions. Take it away, boys”
"My next song is about subtraction. Take it away..." was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on January 10, 2011. The joke originated on the Sickipedia website. "This next song is…
“The only problem with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does”
"The only problem with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does/stops" -- that is, the body fat still jiggles -- is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“The only problem with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music stops”
"The only problem with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does/stops" -- that is, the body fat still jiggles -- is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“The opposite of a dominant chord is a submissive chord”
In music theory, there is a dominant chord, but no submissive chord. "Dominant chords and submissive chords #musicjokes #music" was posted on twitter by Matt Hues on June 26, 2012.…
“The performer is available for a limited number of cancellations”
American pianist and composer Oscar Levant (1906-1972) and Russian-born American classical pianist Vladimir Horowitz (1903-1989) both became notorious for cancelling concerts. Levant joked (by at…
“The play opened at 8:40 sharp and closed at 10:40 dull” (Broadway saying)
The shortest review of a play is credited to Heywood Broun (1888-1939), who allegedly wrote this simple dismissal of the play's proceedings: "It opened at 8:30 sharp and closed at 10:40…
“The problem with sex in the movies is that the popcorn usually spills”
"The problem with sex in the movies is that the popcorn usually spills" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "'The problem with sex in the movies is your popcorn…
“The public stayed away in droves”
American film producer Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974) was known for his humorous misstatements or malapropisms that became known as "Goldwynisms." One famous "Goldwynism" was when…
“The real problem with reality is the lack of background music”
"The real problem/trouble with reality is the lack of background music" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "The trouble with reality is…
“The Royal Albert Hall is the only place a modern composer can hear his music twice”
London's Royal Albert Hall opened in 1871 and has long been known for its poor acoustics. "Meanwhile, the celebrated echo belonging to the Albert Hall has been tracked" was printed…
“The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and trying to get it unstuck without hands”
"The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and trying to get it unstuck without hands" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. "The secret to dancing…
“The show must go on” (show business adage)
"The show must go on" originally meant for the circus or a theatrical performance, despite all difficulties, the show must be performed as scheduled. The expression soon applied to any…