“Did you hear my last recital?”/“I hope so.”
A popular joke about tuba players is: Tuba Player: "Did you hear my last recital?"Friend: "I hope so." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994. Google Groups:…
“Dill Piccolo—the wind instrument that plays only sour notes”
There is a "piccolo" (a wind instrument), there is a "dill pickle" (a pickled cucumber) and then there is a "dill piccolo -- the wind instrument that plays only sour…
“Directing is 90 percent casting” (theatre adage)
"Directing is 80/90 percent casting" has been credited to directors Elia Kazan (1909-2003), William Wyler (1902-1981), John Ford (1894-1973), John Huston (1906-1987), Martin Ritt…
“Dixie” or “Dixie’s Land” (1859)
The song "Dixie Land" was written by Daniel Decatur Emmett and performed at Bryant's Minstrels at 472 Broadway, New York City, on April 4, 1859. Emmett had included the name…
“Do burlesque shows have undress rehearsals?”
Many theatrical productions have dress rehearsals. Does a nude performance hold an "undress rehearsal"? "Undress Rehearsal-Burlesque" was the title of a painting reported in a…
“Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?”
"If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?" is a jocular one-liner that American stand-up comedian Steven Wright used in his act since at least 1986. "Do you need a silencer if…
“Does the existence of music theory imply the existence of music conspiracy theory?”
"If there are conspiracy theories and music theory is there music conspiracy theory?" was posted on Twitter by Dick Wildes on December 9, 2016. "So there is music theory, but is…
“Dominant chords imply the existence of submissive chords”
In music theory, there is a dominant chord, but no submissive chord. "Dominant chords and submissive chords #musicjokes #music" was posted on twitter by Matt Hues on June 26, 2012.…
“Don’t applaud—just throw cash”
"No applause -- just throw money" is an entertainment gag line of uncertain authorship. Some insist that the line is from vaudeville in the early 1900s, but it has been cited in print…
“Don’t applaud—just throw money”
"No applause -- just throw money" is an entertainment gag line of uncertain authorship. Some insist that the line is from vaudeville in the early 1900s, but it has been cited in print…
“Don’t bore us, get to the chorus” (music adage)
"Don't bore us, get to the chorus" is a songwriting adage of unknown authorship. A song's chorus is usually its most memorable part, and listeners often like to sing it. If a…
“Don’t call us, we’ll call you” (entertainment saying)
"Don't call us, we'll call you" is an old brush-off line given to an actor after a failed audition. The call from the play's producer never comes. The origin of the phrase…
“Don’t clap—just throw money”
"No applause -- just throw money" is an entertainment gag line of uncertain authorship. Some insist that the line is from vaudeville in the early 1900s, but it has been cited in print…
“Don’t make me use my director voice”
"Don't make me use my director voice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Directors have power in movies and in the theatre. "Don’t Make Me Use My…
“Don’t pay any attention to the critics—don’t even ignore them”
American film producer Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974) was known for his humorous misstatements or malapropisms that became known as "Goldwynisms." One famous "Goldwynism" was when…
“Don’t quit your day job” (show business adage)
"Don't quit your day job" (or "Don't give up your day job" or "Keep your day job") is advice to an actor/artist/model/musician/writer who probably won't…
“Don’t Rain On My Parade” (1964, 1968)
The song "Don't Rain On My Parade" was in the Broadway musical (1964) and movie (1968) Funny Girl, about the New York performer Fanny Brice. Funny Girl had music by Jule Styne and…
“Don’t reach for the stars. They are extremely hot and will incinerate you”
People in the performing arts are often told to reach for the stars. The expression "reach for the stars" does not, of course, mean reaching for actual stars. "Don't reach for…
“Downtown Train” (1985)
"Downtrown Train" became a big hit for Rod Stewart in 1990, and the song has been recorded by others. It was written and first recorded by Thomas Alan (Tom) Waits for his album Rain Dogs…
“Drama—what literature does at night”
American drama critic George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) wrote in Testament of a Critic (1931): "Drama. -- What literature does at night." This short definition of drama has been frequently…