“When you’re in a hole, stop digging” (First Law of Holes)
There's a "law of holes" rule when someone (such as a politician) gets into trouble: "When you're in a hole, stop digging." In other words, don't get yourself…
“When you’re in, you’re a guest; when you’re out, you’re a pest”
"When you're in, you're a guest; when you're out, you're a pest" is a popular police saying that may have originated with the New York Police Department. An officer in…
“When you’re not even done with Covid-19 and China releases Covid-20 Pro max”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was called COVID-19. Some people quickly assumed a COVID-20, as if it were a movie or a software release. "Breaking news: they just told me, don't get…
“When you’re about to get run out of town on a rail, get out in front and call it a parade”
"When you’re about to get run out of town on a rail, get out in front and call it a parade" is an old saying of how to turn around a bad situation. The saying has been cited in print…
“When your opponent is drowning, throw the son of a bitch an anvil”
Political consultant James Carville explained a favored phrase in his book All's Fair (1995): "When your opponent is drowning, throw the son of a bitch an anvil. — the CEO of a large…
“Whenever I get asked to do something I don’t want to do I just answer ‘in a pandemic?’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many cancellations. Many people quarantined at home. "Whenever I get asked to do something I don’t want to do I just answer 'in a…
“Whenever I have to fill out a form that asks ‘who to call in case of an emergency,’ I always put ‘ambulance’...”
Many forms ask who to call in case of an emergency. "Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'An…
“Whenever I hear the phrase ‘Power of Attorney’ I always imagine someone being bitten by…”
"Whenever I hear the phrase 'Power of Attorney' I always imagine someone being bitten by a radioactive lawyer" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by JerryThomas on June 24,…
“Whenever you give the government the power to disarm the mentally ill, you give the government…”
Many people argue that the mentally ill shouldn't own guns, so gun owners should submit to psychological examination. This was posted on Twitter by Libertarian Party on March 28, 2023:…
“Where can I buy a face mask that doesn’t smell like bad breath?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "Can I find just one mask that doesn’t smell like bad breath?" was posted on Twitter by Padraic…
“Where did the general keep his armies?”/“In his sleevies.”
A general's "armies" usually doesn't refer to his physical arms, but there's a riddle: Q: Where did the general keep his armies?A: In his sleevies. The joke has been cited…
“Where do politicians come from?”/“When a clown and a serial killer love each other very much…”
A joke about politicians has been shown on images depicting a conversation between a mother and a child: Child: Mommy, where do politicians come from?Mother: Well, sweetie... when a clown and a…
“Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?”/“In a pellet court.”
"Appellate court" sounds like "a pellet court." "Physicians should always take their legal business to a pellet court" is a pun that was cited in print in May 1888.…
“Where do socialist birds lay their eggs?”/“In a communest.”
A pun on the word "communist" is: Q: Where do socialist birds lay their eggs?A: In a communest. The joke became popular in November 2016, when it was posted to Reddit -- Jokes. Google…
“Where do spiders go for medical advice?”/“WebMD.”
WebMD is an online publisher of medical information. It has nothing to do with spider webs, but there are jokes. "Where do spiders go for medical advice? Charlotte's WebMD" was…
“Where do spiders seek health advice?”/“WebMD.”
WebMD is an online publisher of medical information. It has nothing to do with spider webs, but there are jokes. "Where do spiders go for medical advice? Charlotte's WebMD" was…
“Where do suicide bombers go when they die?”/“Everywhere.”
A riddle about suicide bombers has been printed on many images: Q: Where do suicide bombers go when they die?A: Everywhere. The riddle was posted on Twitter on June 2, 2013, and on Reddit -- Jokes…
“Where liberty dwells, there is my country”
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country" has been credited to Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790). "Where there is liberty, there is my country" was published in A Complete Body of…
“Where there is a risk, there must be a choice”
"If/Where there is risk, there must be choice" (or "If/Where there is a risk, there must be a choice") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is associated…
“Where there is risk, there must be choice”
"If/Where there is risk, there must be choice" (or "If/Where there is a risk, there must be a choice") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is associated…