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March 6, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Praising the government for reopening your state is like thanking your abuser when they stop”

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many lockdowns and reopenings. Many people believed that the lockdowns were unnecessary. "Praising the government for reopening your state is…

March 20, 2011
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Preach to the choir” (“Preach to the converted”)

To "preach to the converted" means to bring a message before people who already believe (or are predisposed to believe) that message. The preaching doesn't win over any new converts.…

February 16, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthWork/Businesses

“Presidents’ Day is just a fake holiday made up by the president companies to sell more presidents”

Many holidays are highly commercialized -- from Valentine's Day to Halloween to Christmas. Is Presidents' Day also commercialized? "RT @blainecapatch: presidents' day is just a…

February 16, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthWork/Businesses

“Presidents’ Day is just a made up holiday to sell more presidents”

Many holidays are highly commercialized -- from Valentine's Day to Halloween to Christmas. Is Presidents' Day also commercialized? "RT @blainecapatch: presidents' day is just a…

March 28, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Pretty words are not always true, and true words are not always pretty”

"Pretty words are not always true, and true words are not always pretty" (or "True words are not always pretty, and pretty words are not always true") is a saying that has been…

January 14, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Print guns, not money”

Entry in progress -- BP "Print guns, not money" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Reddit -- GunMemesCrossposted by u/El_Duderino_Brevity September 27, 2020Print guns not…

June 18, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Printing will continue until freedom improves”

"Printing will continue until freedom improves" -- that is, 3D printing of guns -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The firings/floggings/beatings will continue…

May 12, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Prison may be just one word. But to others, it’s a whole sentence”

A prison sentence is not the same as a sentence in the English language, but there are jokes. One joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 31, 2017: "Prison may be just one word. But to…

November 11, 2019
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Prison walls are never built to scale”

Something "built to scale" doesn't literally mean "built to be scaled," but there are jokes. "Prison walls are never built to scale" was posted on the website Pun…

April 5, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Pro-tip: If you are at the courthouse, always check behind the toilets for bribe money that hasn’t been collected yet”

A jocular courthouse piece of advice was posted on X/Twitter by Canyou ⚜️ on March 25, 2024, and received over 162,000 likes: "Pro-tip: If you are at the courthouse, always check behind…

August 6, 2015
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Probe with bayonets”

"Probe with bayonets. If you encounter steel, withdraw. If you encounter mush, continue" is credited to Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin (1870-1924). THe book The Unknown Lenin: From the…

January 13, 2013
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Problem with lawyer jokes - lawyers don’t think they’re funny and others don’t think they’re jokes”

A joke is told about lawyer jokes: "The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes." This joke about lawyer…

July 17, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Problem with propaganda is the past changes so quickly, you don’t know what will happen yesterday”

An old Soviet joke is that government propaganda got so bad, and the past was rewritten so much, that people didn't know what will happen yesterday. The form of the joke, however, became…

April 8, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow”

"Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. They saying was posted on Twitter on February 21, 2007, and is of unknown…

May 7, 2012
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Professional courtesy” (lawyer joke)

"Professional courtesy" in the punchline to one of the most famous of lawyer jokes. A lawyer fell into shark-infested waters, but wasn't harmed because of "professional…

June 6, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Progressivism: Ideas so good they have to be mandatory”

"Authoritarianism/ Communism/ Government/ Liberalism/ Marxism/ Progressivism/ Socialism/ Statism: Ideas so good, they have to be mandatory" is a political saying that has been printed on…

April 22, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Proof that 9/11 wasn’t a government plot: It worked”

Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not always politically correct. One 9/11 joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on…

December 27, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Propaganda works best when those who are being manipulated are confident they are acting on…”

"Propaganda works best when those who are being manipulated are confident that they are acting on their own free will" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It is credited to…

December 17, 2012
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Proper tea is theft” (anarchist joke)

"Property is theft" was written by Pierre-Joseph Proudhon (1809-1865) in his book What is Property? Or, an Inquiry into the Principle of Right and Government (1840). "Proper tea is…

January 8, 2025
Buildings/Housing/ParksGovernment/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Property tax is serfdom”

"Property tax is serfdom" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that if you have to pay tax on your property (such as your home), then you do not really own…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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