“White people have been using the n-word every time they say ‘vinegar’”
The word "vinegar" is sometimes said to have the "n-word" in it, so white people can't properly say it. "@dallasblack comedian just said he's not comfortable…
“White rice or brown rice?”/“Both. I’m not a riceist.”
Is someone who discriminates between white rice and brown rice a "riceist" (rice + racist)? "I really like plain white rice, although I suppose that does make me a bit of a rice…
“White wine is what you drink before you drink red wine”
"White wine is what you drink before you drink red wine" is a wine saying of uncertain authorship. "White wine is what you drink until they bring the red" was cited in print in…
“Who ate the first pies?”/“The pie oneers.”
"Pie-oneer" (pie + pioneer) is a jocular portmanteau word, usually used to describe a "first" involving a pie. "The old time pastry cooks have organized a pie-oneer…
“Who beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?”/“Tarzipan.”
"Tarzipan" is a portmanteau of "marzipan" (a confection popular at Christmas) and "Tarzan" (a man of the jungle). A joke was cited in 1978: Q: What swings about a…
“Who called it a nutcracker and not a crackhead?”
A decorative nutcracker portrays a person whose mouth forms the jaws of the nutcracker. This is not the same as a "crackhead," but there are jokes. "Who called it a nutcracker and…
“Who called it a salad with chicken and not breast in plants?”
"Breast implants" are different than "breast in plants," but there are jokes. "Putting chicken under a salad is the closest I've come to feeling breast in plants"…
“Who called it beef chow mein and not moodles?”
"Moodle" is a portmanteau word from "moo" (beef) and "noodle." "'Moodle' sounds like what someone might call beef-flavored noodles. 'Mmmm ... just…
“Who called them ’surgical masks’ instead of ’coughy filters’?”
A coffee filter shouldn’t be confused with a "coughy filter," but there are jokes. "In an emergency flu masks can be used as coughy filters" was posted on Twitter by Simon…
“Who called them dad jokes instead of pop corn?”
"Dad" is sometimes called "pop." Bad jokes are sometimes called "corn." "What idiot called them dad jokes instead of pop corn?" was posted on Twitter by THE…
“Who called them dad jokes instead of popcorn?”
"Dad" is sometimes called "pop." Bad jokes are sometimes called "corn." "What idiot called them dad jokes instead of pop corn?" was posted on Twitter by THE…
“Who do monsters buy their cookies from?”/“The Ghoul Scouts.”
Girl Scout Cookies are sometimes joked to be "Ghoul Scout Cookies," especially around Halloween. "Ghoul Scout Cookies" was cited in print in 1963 and there's a riddle: Q:…
“Who do you call for a taco/tequila emergency?”/“9-Juan-Juan.”
"Who do you call for a taco/tequila emergency?"/"9-Juan-Juan" -- a pun on the "911" emergency number -- has been printed on many images. "Got a Taco emergency?…
“Who does not love wine, women, and song remains a fool his whole life long”
"Who does not love wine, women, and song remains a fool his whole life long" is an old saying. The original German (cited in print since at least 1775) is: "Wer nicht liebt Wein,…
“Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?”/“A turkey because it is always stuffed.”
A Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? (or, "Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?")A: A turkey because it is always stuffed. The joke has been cited in print…
“Who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth may not come forth on the fifth”
Bottles of distilled beverages in the United States used to be sold in "fifths" (one-fifth of a gallon), prompting the Fourth of July (Independence Day) joke: "Who goes forth with a…
“Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?”/“The crossing gourd.”
A popular fall riddle about school crossing guards and pumpkins is: Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?A: The crossing gourd. "Yield to the crossing gourd" -- with…
“Who in the fuck orders a medium pizza?”
Many people cannot understand how anyone orders a medium pizza. One should always order a large pizza, even if there is leftover pizza. "@FabMissK: 'Pl[a]ybook is like a medium pizza. Who…
“Who invented pickles? Dinosaurs. It was during the Vlassic period”
Vlasic Pickles shouldn't be confused with the Jurassic period, but there are jokes. "But who's the ancient stork that made the pickles? #hmm RT @themarkbanker: The Vlasic Period:…
“Who invented popcorn chicken?”/“Kernel Sanders.”
A chicken riddle is: Q: Who invented popcorn chicken?A: Kernel Sanders. KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) was founded by Colonel Harland David Sanders (1890-1980). "Colonel" sounds like…