“My time machine is the best thing till sliced bread”
"The best/greatest thing since sliced bread" is a popular phrase. “What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?” is a question that's sometimes asked, and there is a time…
"The best/greatest thing since sliced bread" is a popular phrase. “What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?” is a question that's sometimes asked, and there is a time…
"The best/greatest thing since sliced bread" is a popular phrase. “What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?” is a question that's sometimes asked, and there is a time…
"My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been said with many slight variations. "high…
"My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been said with many slight variations. "high…
"My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been said with many slight variations. "high…
"My toxic trait is thinking another cup of coffee will help my problems" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is thinking another cup of coffee…
"My toxic trait is thinking another cup of coffee will help my problems" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is thinking another cup of coffee…
"My toxic trait is thinking I need an iced coffee every time I leave the house" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is thinking I have to get…
"My toxic trait is thinking I need an iced coffee every time I leave the house" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is thinking I have to get…
"My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Jerks" is a jocular saying about missing Tupperware lids and socks that has been printed on several images.…
"Deserter" (a member of the armed forces who deserts) shouldn't be confused with "desserter" (someone who enjoys desserts), but there are puns. "Waggish comrades say…
People who want to "eat food on the barbecue" want to eat the food on that is on the barbecue. They do not want to sit on the barbecue to eat food, but there are jokes. "It was a…
A husband's joke about a wife's cooking was posted on Twitter on July 31, 2016: "My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner. So I took the…
A joke (cited since 2012) was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 17, 2020: "My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer? I told her no. I ate it on the couch." “Did…
People sometimes are asked to "clear the table," but this doesn't mean to jump clear over it. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 1, 2020: "My wife asked me if I…
"Pancakes" is slang for small breasts. A joke is: "My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up…
There's a difference between putting the name of a food on the shopping list and putting the actual food on the list, but there are jokes. "My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping…
A chocolate joke (sometimes told on Valentine's Day) was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on March 21, 2012: "My wife asked me, 'Did you eat my chocolate in the…
"My wife dresses to kill -- and she cooks the same way" is a joke that has been credited to New York comedian and "king of the one-liners" Henny Youngman (1906-1998), but the…
"He's/She's sangria" sounds like "he's/she's angrier." "My brother keeps getting mad that I tamper with his red wine. So I added some oranges and…