“I tried following my dreams, but they blocked me”
"Follow your dreams" is a common saying that has been printed on many images. It usually doesn't refer to a follow on social media, but there are jokes. "I wanted to follow my…
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary)
“I tried making a candlelit dinner. I think it would have cooked quicker in the oven”
A “candlelit dinner” usually has candles on the dinner table. The meal is usually not cooked with candles, but there are jokes about that. "Going out tonight for a candlelit dinner. Surely…
“I tried memeing less, but it made my day memeingless”
"I tried memeing less, but it made my day(s) memeingless" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memeingless" is like "meaningless." "I tried memeing…
“I tried memeing less, but it made my days memeingless”
"I tried memeing less, but it made my day(s) memeingless" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memeingless" is like "meaningless." "I tried memeing…
“I tried paying taxes with a smile, but the IRS wanted cash”
Some people suggest that citizens should "pay taxes with a smile," knowing that the citizens have patriotically performed a civic duty. Many taxpayers, however, do not enjoy paying taxes.…
“I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned”
Polo is played on horses; water polo is not. A popular joke is: "I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. 18 May 1968,…
“I tried starting my day without coffee once… My court date is pending”
"I tried starting a/my day without coffee once... My court date is pending" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Tried starting the day without coffee…
“I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court”
"I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court" -- a pun also on "basketball" court -- is a joke that was posted on Sickipedia and Twitter on…
“I tried taking everything in life with a grain of salt. After using up two bags of salt I gave up”
To take something "with a grain of salt" is an expression meaning that one views it with skepticism. "I tried taking everything in life with a grain of salt, but after using up two…
“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life”
"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Hey , i tried to be normal once.. worst 15 seconds of my life…
“I tried to buy a hot dog with ketchup, but the vendor would only accept cash”
A joke was posted by john on Twitter on May 22, 2017: Me: I'd like to buy a hot dog with ketchup, pleaseHim: Sorry, cash only A similar joke was reposted on Twitter on December 11, 2019.…
“I tried to buy a life insurance policy, but they just laughed and said I need to get a life first”
"Get a life!" is a popular expression. "I was denied life insurance, they said I had to get a life first" is a jocular saying that was posted on the newsgroup…
“I tried to catch some fog. I mist”
"I tired to catch some fog. I mist" is a pun that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts, hats and bumper stickers. "Just tried to catch some fog. I…
“I tried to change my password to ‘beefstew,’ but it wasn’t stroganoff”
"Stroganoff" sounds like "strong enough," and a pun is: "I tried to change my password to 'beefstew,' but it wasn't stroganoff." The joke was posted on…
“I tried to change my password to ‘beefstew,’ but it wasn’t stroganoff”
"Stroganoff" sounds like "strong enough," and a pun is: "I tried to change my password to 'beefstew,' but it wasn't stroganoff." The joke was posted on…
“I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing. This is as close as I could get”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many to "socially distance" themselves from others. People tried to come up with jokes, and this was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 22,…
“I tried to design a piece of paper and my teacher was impressed. He gave me an A4 effort”
"A4" is a popular paper size. "A joke about paper? You might have gotten an A4 effort!" is a pun that was posted on Twitter on October 23, 2012. "I tried to design a piece…
“I tried to find out exactly how loud my dog’s bark was. But I could only get a ruff estimate”
"Rough estimate" shouldn't be confused with "ruff estimate," but there are jokes that have been printed on many images. "I tried to find out exactly how loud my…
“I tried to follow my dreams. but they blocked me”
"Follow your dreams" is a common saying that has been printed on many images. It usually doesn't refer to a follow on social media, but there are jokes. "I wanted to follow my…
“I tried to force-feed our son when my wife said, ‘Use the fricking spoon. You’re not a Jedi’”
"Force-feeding" doesn't involve the "Force" from the