“My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror”
"I saw my doctor. He told me to watch my drinking," New York-based comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) said in his act. "Now I drink in front of a mirror." It's not…
Mile High City (Denver nickname)
“My dog ate my homework and then a migrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog ate my homework and then an immigrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog isn’t spoiled, I’m just well trained”
"My dog isn't spoiled, I'm just well trained" (or "My dog's not spoiled, I'm just well trained") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is
"My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is" was posted on Twitter by sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) on February 15, 2022. The tweet…
“My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My dog sighs a lot for someone who has no bills or any responsibilities”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me”
"My dog understands several human words. I don't understand any dog barks. He/She may be smarter than me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My dog understand…
“My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. She may be smarter than me”
"My dog understands several human words. I don't understand any dog barks. He/She may be smarter than me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My dog understand…
“My dog, who does not pay rent or bills and is, himself, a bill, has sighed three times in the past five minutes”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My dog’s not spoiled, I’m just well trained”
"My dog isn't spoiled, I'm just well trained" (or "My dog's not spoiled, I'm just well trained") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My dogs are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freakin’ early. Every. Single. Morning”
"My dogs are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freakin' early. Every. Single. Morning" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My dogs are the reason…
“My dream is to eat at the little table that comes on top of pizza” (meme)
A "pizza saver" (also called a "pizza table" or "pizza stool") is a small plastic table-like object in the middle of a pizza in a pizza box, to prevent the lid from…
“My dream job is no job. I just want to get paid for breathing”
"My dream job is no job. I just want to get paid for breathing" was posted on Facebook by Jakiera Davis Conner on May 31, 2012. The post had over 67,000 shares. Facebook Jakiera Davis…
“My dream job is to work for a manufacturer of lamps because of the light workload”
A "light workload doesn't usually involve lights, but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on October 29, 2017: "My dream job is to work for a manufacturer of…
“My dream job would be getting paid to sleep”
People are sometimes asked about their dream job. A funny response is: "My dream job is getting paid to sleep." "My dream job would be getting paid to sleep" was cited on…
“My dyslexic French friend said he owed me some money…OUI”
The letters "IOU" ("I owe you") are hinted at in this joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 1, 2019: "My dyslexic French friend said he owed me some…
“My earbuds broke. More like earenemies”
"Earbuds" have nothing to do with "buds" or "buddies," but there are jokes. "I hate earbuds. They never stay in my ears. Punks! More like earenemies." was…
“My earbuds quickly turn into earenemies when I can’t find them”
"Earbuds" have nothing to do with "buds" or "buddies," but there are jokes. "I hate earbuds. They never stay in my ears. Punks! More like earenemies." was…