“According to my nipples, there’s a 99% chance it’s cold as fuck outside”
People often feel cold weather -- with their nipples. "According to my nipples, there's a 99% chance it's cold as fuck outside" and "According to my nipples, spring…
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“According to my nipples, there’s a ninety-nine percent chance it’s cold as fuck outside”
People often feel cold weather -- with their nipples. "According to my nipples, there's a 99% chance it's cold as fuck outside" and "According to my nipples, spring…
“Accordion to research, most people will not notice musical instruments appearing within sentences”
"Accordion" sounds somewhat like "according." "Accordion to research, in everyday conversation a musical instrument replacing a word often goes unnoticed" was posted…
“Accounting is the language of business”
Accounting has frequently been called "the language of business." "The language of business is figures" was cited in print in 1927. "Accounting is the language of…
“Achieved a new personal best in the 100 yard dash today—43 yards”
Some people who run a dash, according to a joke, can't make it all the way. "I am proud to announce that I beat my personal best in the 100 meter dash. I made it 65 meters" was…
“Acknowledge the corn” (to confess or acknowledge a charge)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wiktionary: acknowledge the cornEtymologyBy folk tale, attributed to an instance of a man who stole several horses and the corn to feed them but in court only admitted to…
“Acres and acres, and she’s all mine!” (Texas size joke)
Everything's bigger in Texas, but this joke is a little extreme. Google BooksWhy, When I Was A Kid...Autobiographical Ramblingsby James R. PalmerVictoria, British Columbia: Trafford…
“Act before you think” (acting adage)
"Act before you think" (the reverse of the popular saying "think before you act") is an acting adage that has been printed on several images. The saying is credited to acting…
“Act your wage”
"Act your wage" (act your age + wage) is a saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying means that one should live within one's means. "Act your wage" has been…
“Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances”
"Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances" (or "Acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances”
"Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances" (or "Acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Acting is reacting” (acting adage)
"Acting is reacting" is an old acting adage. The actor must react to what the other actors say and do, or to the conditions. The saying has been used both on the stage and in movies. The…
“Acting is the ability to dream on cue”
"Acting is the ability to dream on cue" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is credited to English actor Ralph Richardson (1902-1983), although Richardson usually…
“Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often”
"Actions speak louder than words" is a proverb that has been cited in print since about the 1600s. "Actions speak louder than words, but they do not speak as often" was cited in…
“Actor can read the telephone book” (actor’s saying)
An old saying is that an entertainer is so good or so popular that he or she can "read the telephone book/directory" and the audience will still be satisfied. The saying appeared in print…
“Actor: What’s my motivation? / Director: Your salary”
A classic acting joke, told both on Broadway and in Hollywood, has an actor reading a line and asking the director, "What's my motivation?" The director snaps back with a terse…
“Actors have to dream to order”
"Acting is the ability to dream on cue" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is credited to English actor Ralph Richardson (1902-1983), although Richardson usually…
“Actually it’s pronounced ‘jaslight’—you’ve been saying it wrong the whole time”
Some people gaslight with even the term "gaslight." "Actually it's pronounced jaslight. You've been saying it wrong this whole time" was posted on Tumblr by…
“Acupuncture is a jab well done”
Successful acupuncture has been called "a jab well done" (a pun on "a job well done"). "Definition of acupuncture: A jab well done" was published in American…
“Acute alcoholic: an attractive drunk”
"Acute alcoholic: an attractive drunk" is a jocular drinking definition. The definition was printed in a 1965 Missouri newspaper, where it was credited to Howard Jasper. 9 April 1965,…