“Finding a hair in your food is much worse if you’re bald”
People don’t like to find a hair in their food -- especially if they're bald. Many chefs are bald. "RT @yourfavwhiteguy: The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is finding…
Buildings/Housing/Parks
“Finding a mask in your pocket is the new equivalent of finding a fiver”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. Finding a face mask in one's pocket helps that person to enter stores. "Is finding a mask in your…
“Finding a mask in your pocket is the new finding $5 in your pocket”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. Finding a face mask in one's pocket helps that person to enter stores. "Is finding a mask in your…
“Fine as cream gravy”
"Fine as cream gravy" appears on many recent (post-1990) lists of Texas sayings, but pre-1990 citations are few. Possibly, the phrase began as "good gravy" and then expanded to…
“Finger-lickin’ good”
"Finger-lickin' good" is the popular slogan of KFC restaurants (formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken). "Finger licking" food is so good that one would rather lick…
“Finish last in medical school and they call you ‘doctor’” (Texas basketball coach Abe Lemons)
College basketball coach Abe Lemons (1922-2002) is credited with saying: "I'm sure I'd rather be something else. You know what they call the guy who finishes last in medical school?…
“Finish your salad. A thousand islands died to make that dressing”
There aren't a thousand islands in each bottle of "Thousand Island dressing," but there have been jokes. Rachelle Mandik posted on Twitter on January 21, 2016: "Finish your…
“Firearms imply the existence of eartharms, windarms, and waterarms”
"If regular guns are firearms, squirt guns should be called waterarms" was posted on Twitter by [Cat face]ri-Warui on October 24, 2017. "If guns are firearms, then are squirt guns…
“Firearms…are the American people’s liberty teeth” (George Washington?)
George Washington (1732-1799) is sometimes given credit for a "liberty teeth" quotation supporting the second amendment right to bear arms, but the quotation has been identified as bogus…
“Firefighters never want the option of working from home”
"It's always good to find out you're going to be working from home, unless you're a fireman" is a jocular one-line saying from English writer and stand-up comedian Gary…
“Firefighters run into a burning building when everyone else is running out”
An adage about the bravery -- or insanity -- of firefighters is that they run into a burning building when every else is running out. (The adage sometimes says that the "rats and roaches"…
“Firings will continue until morale improves” (personnel policy joke)
"The firings/floggings/beatings will continue until morale improves" is a humorous saying that has been put on many signs and plaques. "Layoffs will continue until morale…
“First coffee and then the world”
"First coffee and then the world" (or "Coffee and then the world") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "first coffee, then the world" was posted…
“First coffee, then on to today’s episode of ‘Now what?’”
"First coffee, then we move on to today's episode of 'Now what?'" (or "First coffee, then on to today's episode of 'Now what?'") is a jocular…
“First coffee, then presents”
"First coffee, then presents" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means to have a cup of coffee first, and then open Christmas presents later. "Merry…
“First coffee, then the world”
"First coffee and then the world" (or "Coffee and then the world") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "first coffee, then the world" was posted…
“First coffee, then we move on to today’s episode of ‘Now what?’”
"First coffee, then we move on to today's episode of 'Now what?'" (or "First coffee, then on to today's episode of 'Now what?'") is a jocular…
“First day running my family fruit & veg delivery service and my wife is already driving me bananas”
"Driving me bananas" usually means "driving me crazy," but some jokes involve literal driving of bananas. "First day running my family fruit and veg delivery service and my…
“First draft of history” (journalism)
It's often said that newspapers publish "the first (rough) draft of history." Washington (DC) Post publisher Phil Graham (1915-1963) is frequently credited with the saying, but he…
“First get on, then get honor, then get honest”
"A lawyer must first get on, then get honor, and then get honest" is an old legal saying, usually given "anonymous" authorship. The saying has been recorded in print by at least…