“My tummy hurts and I’m mad at the government”
"My tummy hurts and I'm mad at the government" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My tummy hurts" became a meme in 2019 and 2020. "my tummy hurts...…
Food/Drink
“My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Jerks”
"My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Jerks" is a jocular saying about missing Tupperware lids and socks that has been printed on several images.…
“My TV keeps changing the channels by itself every few seconds. It’s an ADHD TV”
There is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and HD TV (high-definition television), but ADHD TV? "Inventing: ADHD TV - has a high definition picture & changes channels…
“My tweets are all made from 100% recycled material”
"Recycled material" is often looked at as a good thing, but not so much when the material consists of social media posts. "Just so you know, Earth, my tweets are made from 100%…
“My tweets are like your ex. Stolen and passsed around”
"My memes are like your ex. Stolen and passed around" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memes getting passed around like my ex" was posted on Facebook by Tuguy…
“My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They are his watch dogs”
A joke has it that a person named two dogs "Timex" and "Rolex" because they were "watch dogs." The "watchdog" pun has been cited in print since at least…
“My uncle used to carry a trifle in the army. He was a desserter”
"Deserter" (a member of the armed forces who deserts) shouldn't be confused with "desserter" (someone who enjoys desserts), but there are puns. "Waggish comrades say…
“My uncle was a great conductor. He was struck by lightning”
A musical conductor is not the same as a conductor of electricity, but there have been jokes. "My uncle was a great conductor. He was struck by lightning six times" is a joke that has…
“My unicorn ate my homework”
"My unicorn ate my homework" -- a joke on the lame excuse of "the dog ate my homework" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The Rainbow Unicorn ate my…
“My vaccine dad joke failed. But it was worth a shot”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic produced some vaccine jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 2, 2021: "My vaccine dad joke failed. But it was worth a shot." “I…
“My veggie drawer identifies as a second cheese drawer”
Some people have a refrigerator with a vegetables drawer and a cheese drawer. Other people, who really love cheese, have two cheese drawers. "I have a cheese drawer instead of a vegetable…
“My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nachos” (Merc.-Venus-Earth-Mars-Jupiter-Sat.-Uranus-Nept.)
Pluto was declassified as a planet in August 2006. The mnemonic device for remembering the order of the planets from the sun had been "My Very Educated Mother Served Us Nine Pizzas." With…
“My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can’t carry 23 items”
"My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can’t carry 23 items in my arms through the store" is a jocular saying about shopping that has been printed on many…
“My walk of shame is going back for a shopping trolley after realising I can’t carry 23 items”
"My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can’t carry 23 items in my arms through the store" is a jocular saying about shopping that has been printed on many…
“My watch is three hours fast, and I can’t fix it. So I’m going to move to New York.”
Life in New York City is often said to be at a faster pace than life anywhere else. New York's time is three hours ahead of California's. The American comedian Steven Wright, in his A…
“My way or the highway”
"My way or the highway" is a management style that means things are done the way that person says things are done, or people can hit the highway and get out. The expression…
“My wife always prefers the stairs; I take the elevator. I guess we were raised differently”
A joke about taking the stairs versus taking the elevator was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on October 29, 2018: "My wife always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator.…
“My wife and I met while studying to be opthalmologists. We were eye school sweethearts”
Some people marry after being high school sweethearts. A joke was posted on Facebook by Charles Alzamora (to Home Groan Puns) on April 23, 2023: "My wife and I met while studying to be…
“My wife and I watched three movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV”
"My wife and I watched three movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV" is a joke that has been printed on many images. English comedian Milton Jones has told the joke…
“My wife asked if I wanted to eat some of the chicken on the barbecue. I suggested a chair”
People who want to "eat food on the barbecue" want to eat the food on that is on the barbecue. They do not want to sit on the barbecue to eat food, but there are jokes. "It was a…