“‘What’ll it be, Hun?’—Southern waitress serving Attila”
Many Southern waitresses, according to the stereotype, address a diner with "hon" (honey). This as nothing to do with Attila the Hun, but there are jokes. "I get called…
Food/Drink
“‘Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it’s not in cockroaches.’ – a NYC tenant’”
An astronomy joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.fan.dragons on May 5, 2002: "Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it's not in cockroaches." A New York City…
“‘When do we eat stuff?’ -My brain, all day”
"'When do we eat stuff?' -My brain, all day" is a jocular one-line saying about eating. The line was posted on Twitter by Men's Humor of June 17, 2013. TwitterMen's…
“‘Where do you get your protein?’ The same place your protein gets theirs”
"'Where do you get your protein?' The same place your protein gets theirs" -- that is, from plants -- is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "as a veggie i…
“‘Why are you late?’ my teacher asked” (school joke)
A "Why were you late for school?" joke was posted on Twitter by mahmoud on January 20, 2017: Teacher: Why didn't you come school yesterday?my dad's in the hospital.*7days…
“‘Wow, the Lean Cuisine really filled me up!’ said no one ever”
"'Wow, the Lean Cuisine really filled me up!' said no one ever" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. "Damn that lean cuisine filled me up!…
“‘Yay! It’s the weekend!’ Said nobody who works in a restaurant”
"'Yay! It's the weekend! Said nobody who works in a restaurant" is a jocular line that has been printed on several ecards. "'Yay!!! It's the weekend!!!'…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a big disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a massive disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“‘Your bill is ready to view’ well I’m not ready to view it”
"'Your bill is ready to view' well I’m not ready to view it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many people are not fully prepared to see how much they…
“‘Your network connection is unstable’— yeah well so am I and I still work”
A communication network is sometimes "unstable" and stops working. "'Your network connection is unstable' … ye well so am I and I still work" was posted on Facebook…
“‘Your password is weak’ well so is my memory so plz let me keep it”
"'Your password is weak' well so is my memory so plz let me keep it" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. There are several slight variations.…
“‘Yum, kipper!’—a Jewish man enjoying his breakfast on the Day of Atonement”
Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement) shouldn't be confused with kipper (a fish that is often eaten for breakfast), but there are jokes. "Celebrating this Jewish holiday with a fish…
“(I Like New York in June) How About You?” (1941)
"How About You" is often titled from the lyrics that occur before this, "I like New York in June." It's from the movie musical Babes on Broadway (1941) and has music by…
“(I Love to Play Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box” (1954)
"(I Love to Play Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box" is a 1954 novelty song by The Toppers. Robin Byrd (www.robinbyrd.com) plays the song at the end of her Manhattan cable tv sex show, "The…
“(I will gladly pay you Tuesday for) A hamburger today”
"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" was spoken by the comic character J. Wellington Wimpy in E. C. Segar's 1930s comic strip "Thimble Theatre," featuring…
“(I’ll give you my gun when you take it) From my cold, dead hands”
"I will give up my gun when they pry my cold, dead fingers from around it" is a bumper sticker slogan supporting gun rights and dating from at least March 1972. "I'll give up my…
“(Liar, liar) Pants on fire”
The St. Petersburg (FL) Times originated in 2007 a website, Politifact.com, to check political facts. Statements are judged on a "Truth-O-Meter" with grades of True, Mostly True, Half…