Gandalf is a protagonist in J. R. R. Tolkien's novels The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Many jokes have Gandalf as a teacher, shouting his famous line. "COLLEGE JOKE | I went to LOTR…
"At my age, 'getting lucky' means having coffee without interruption" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "At my age, 'getting lucky'…
"At my age, I don't even buy green bananas" is often credited to Florida Congressman Claude Pepper (1900-1989), but there's no documentary evidence that he said it before 1986.…
Some people have obvious likes and dislikes, such as money and food. "At my age, please stop asking me about my likes & dislikes. I like money, and I dislike not having money. Don't…
People often pray before a meal (such as a grace prayer) to give thanks for the food on the table. The comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) joked: "My wife is the worst cook in the world.…
A person with many people under him/her usually has a responsible job. "At my new job, I have hundreds of people under me," an old joke goes. "I mow the grass at the cemetery."…
"At my next job, im gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children" was posted on Twitter by street governor (@brownliquorbaby) on…
"Sometimes I hear the voices of cookies and ice cream at night, calling to me from the kitchen. The veggies, however, are oddly quiet" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
"At no point in history have the people forcing others into compliance been the good guys" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying originally meant compliance with…
"At some point we need to quit asking who needs to pay more taxes and focus on where the hell all of our money is going" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "At some…
"At some point you will find someone who is obsessed with you and wants all your time.. That person is your manager at work" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
Many people who order a sub at Subway feel like they're eating a whole loaf of bread in one sitting. "'Ha! And you thought you couldn't eat an entire loaf of bread.' - me…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A cliché version is: "At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a…
A treadmill is for jogging, but people initially "hop on." A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 3, 2019: "While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill. People…
Does every disaster movie start with a scientist being ignored? "Paul Prendergast is the crazy scientist at the start of every disaster movie who's trying to warn the mayor who's all…
"I've decided to leave my past behind. So if I owe you money, I'm sorry but I've moved on" is a jocular saying that has been TwitterCristian…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing. Many stores placed "X" markers on the ground for people to stand on, but it reminded many people of the Wile E. Coyote…
Food doesn't suddenly go bad at the exact second of the printed expiration date, but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by blake on June 1, 2012: "At the stroke of midnight, Neil…
A popular supermarket barcode joke is: "So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, 'Are you two an item?'" Tesco is a supermarket chain…
A "Ph.D" (doctorate degree) shouldn't be confused with "pee HD" (urine in high definition), but there are jokes. "At the university, I used to make videos of people…