“Want to hear a joke about bowling?”/“Spare me.”
Several bowling puns use the expression "spare me." "Want to hear a joke about bowling? Spare me" was posted on Facebook by Jim Abbas on February 28, 2012. "Please, spare…
Art/Sculpture
“Want to hear a joke about pizza?...Never mind, it’s too cheesy”
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy" is a "cheesy" pizza joke that has been printed on many images. "Making pizza. I was going to tweet a…
“Want to hear a really dark joke?…Decaf”
"Want to hear a really dark joke? Decaf" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Wanna hear a joke? Decaf coffee" was posted on Twitter on October 28, 2011. "You…
“Want to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers? Ban sober drivers. That’s gun control”
A pro-gun saying compares gun control to misguided efforts to stop drunk driving. "Cars facilitate drunk driving. We need to ban sober drivers" was posted on Twitter by Conspiracy Smasher…
“Want to stop riots? Play the national anthem. They’ll all sit down”
"Want to stop riots? Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The joke is a response to the 2016 U.S. national…
“Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don’t get orange”
"Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange. No weirdos" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Doritos (a brand of flavored tortilla…
“War doesn’t determine who’s right, only who’s left”
"War doesn't determine who's right, only who's left" is a popular anti-war slogan, cited in print from at least 1932-1933. The saying is often credited to philosopher…
“War is a racket”
"War is a racket" and "Is war a racket?" became the topic of national conversation in 1933-35. "Arming for war is a racket of international proportions" was cited in…
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography”
"War is God's way of teaching us geography" was said by comedian Paul Rodriguez at Comic Relief in 1987. Rodriguez later added the Gulf War (started when Iraq invaded Kuwait in…
“War is greedy old men sending naive young boys to kill innocent children”
"War is greedy old men sending naive young boys to kill innocent children" is an anti-war saying that has been printed on several images. The saying (also shown on an image) was posted on…
“War is like a vacuum cleaner that sucks tax dollars out of your pocket…”
“War is like a vacuum cleaner that sucks tax dollars out of your pocket and funnels the money directly into the pockets of the robber barons who own the weapons factories" is a saying that…
“War is murder. Taxation is theft. Police are gangs. Politicians are criminals”
"War is murder. Taxation is theft. Police are gangs. Politicians are criminals" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "WAR IS MURDER, TAXATION IS THEFT, POLICE ARE GANGS…
“War is not healthy for children and other living things”
"War is not healthy for children and other living things" is a popular 1960s poster; the words are shown under a sunflower. The poster was designed by Lorraine Schneider and displayed at…
“War is when the government tells you who the bad guy is. Revolution is when you decide that”
"War is when the government tells you who the bad guy is. Revolution is when you decide that for yourself" (or "War is when the/your government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution…
“War is when the government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution is when you figure it out”
"War is when the government tells you who the bad guy is. Revolution is when you decide that for yourself" (or "War is when the/your government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution…
“War is when your government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution is when you figure it out”
"War is when the government tells you who the bad guy is. Revolution is when you decide that for yourself" (or "War is when the/your government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution…
“War kills reform”
"War kills reform" is a catchphrase of American historian Robert Dallek. Dallek wrote in Flawed Giant: Lyndon Johnson and His Times, 1961-1973 (1998): It is a given of U.S. history that…
“War propaganda left unchecked for a single generation becomes history”
"War propoganda left unchecked for a single generation becomes history" was posted on Twitter by @trutherbot on March 10, 2015. The original tweet is no longer available. "War…
“Warehouse: somebody who turns into a house when the full moon is out”
A warehouse has nothing to do with a werewolf, but there are jokes. "When the full moon comes out does a werewolf's house turn into a warehouse?" was posted on Facebook by Joey…
“Warm beer and cold coffee are the same temperature”
Is "warm" beer really warm, or just not cold? Is "cold" coffee really cold, or just not warm? "A warm beer and a cold coffee may be the same temperature since the…