“If America had a slogan, it’d be ‘Don’t bother me, I’m eating’”
“Don’t bother me, I’m eating" is a trademarked advertising catchphrase of Carl's Jr. fast food restaurants, first used on March 19, 2000. "Fuck You, I'm Eating" is…
Archive for /P25920
“Influence is like a savings account. The less you use it, the more you’ve got”
"Influence is like a savings account. The less you use it, the more you've got" is something that American politician, diplomat, and activist Andrew Young has said in several…
“My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes” (joke)
"Pancakes" is slang for small breasts. A joke is: "My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up…
“Pancake Day really crêped up on us”
Pancake Day is SHrove Tuesday. "Pancake Day really crêped up on us" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. "Pancake Day already? That's Creped up on us…
“What did the young pancake say to the old one?”/“I don’t like your flip side.”
A pancake riddle is: Q: What did the young pancake say to the old burnt pancake? A: I don't like your flip side. The joke was posted on Twitter on August 22, 2009.…
“I told myself I should stop drinking… But i’m not about to listen to some drunk”
"I told myself I should stop drinking… But I’m not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was…
“Why don’t Mexicans have barbecues?”/“Because the beans fall through the grill.”
A barbecue joke is: Q: Why don't Mexicans have barbecues?A: Because the beans fall through the grill. The joke -- sometimes regarded as offensive -- has been cited in print since at least…
“Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped”
A pancake pun is: "Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped." The joke was posted on Twitter on February 21, 2012. “Did you hear about the angry gymnast? He just flipped”…
“What’s the best pancake topping?”/“More pancakes.”
A pancake riddle is: Q: What's the best pancake topping?A: More pancakes! "Best topping is MORE pancakes" was posted on Twitter on March 8, 2011. "The best topping for pancakes…
“I’m thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator. I wonder how many are in that field”
A joke about the job of estimating crowds is: "I am thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator. I wonder how many people are in that field." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes…
“What’s better than eating a mandarin?”/“Eating Amanda out.”
A pun about eating a mandarin orange is: Q: What's better than eating a mandarin?A: Eating Amanda out. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.flame.james.ngygook on June 23, 1996. Wikipedia:…
“How do you make a pancake smile?”/“Butter him up.”
A pancake riddle is: Q: How do you make a pancake smile?A: Butter him up! The joke was posted on Twitter by Civilized Caveman on May 23, 2015. TwitterLauren McCrea@2mcreaHow do you make a pancake…
“Where does a dad keep all his jokes?”/“In the dadabase.”
A popular dad joke is: Q: Where does a dad keep all his jokes?A: In the dadabase. "Where do dads go to get there dad jokes? ... The dadabase" was posted on Twitter on April 18, 2016.…
Manhatin’ (feminist cocktail)
A feminist version of the Manhattan cocktail is the Manhatin' cocktail. It's basically the same cocktail of whiskey and vermouth, but with a name change. The joke cocktail name was…
“If you can’t fix it with duct tape or a martini, it ain’t worth fixing”
"If you can’t fix it with duct tape or a martini, it ain’t worth fixing" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "If you can't fix it with duct…
“Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps”
"Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "@MiiSSNESS same over here txtin tweetn I mnn you name it…
“What’s the difference between a pizza and an emo pizza?”/“An emo pizza slices itself.”
An "emo" joke has been told on several images: Q: What's the difference between a pizza and an emo pizza?A: An emo pizza cuts/slices itself. The "emo pizza" joke has been…
“What major city is the most feminist?”/“Manhatin’.”
"Manhattan" sounds a bit like "man hating." A pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 2, 2016: Q: What city has the most feminists?A: Manhatin'. A Manhatin'…
“Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?”/“So they can have bubble baths.”
A beans-make-you-fart joke is: Q: Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?A: So they can have bubble baths later. The joke -- sometimes regarded as offensive -- has been cited in print since at least…
“When you text a girl, you also text her friends”
"When you text a girl, you also text her friends" is a cautionary saying. "When you are texting a girl whose with her friends you are pretty much texting her friends #Theory"…