“A mother holds her children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever”
"A mother holds her children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever" (or "Mothers hold their children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever") is a…
Archive for /P25300
“Nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like flowers bought from a gas station”
Nothing shows a mother her Mother's Day love like...something bought at the last minute at a gas station? Many gas stations now sell flowers, Mother's Day cards, and gift cards, so…
“Fat people aren’t marginalized. They’re buttered”
"I detest being marginalized. I prefer to be lightly buttered" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on September 20, 2011. "Marginalized" sounds a bit like…
“If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do candy makers get?”/“Tic Tac toe.”
A riddle about Tic Tac mints is: Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do candy makers get?A: Tic Tac toe. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 13, 2017. Similar jokes had been…
“What’s Osama bin Laden’s favorite football team?”/“The New York Jets.”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One of the earliest jokes is: Q: What's Osama…
“My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room”
"My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room" is a jocular one-line dessert saying that has been printed on images. "Tom introduced the concept of dinner stomach…
“A teetotaler walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A teetotaler is a person who doesn't drink alcohol, but there are a few "A…
“A fisherman walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version involving a horse is: “A horse walks into a bar and the barman says,…
“Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry”
"Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry" is a one-line saying about hunger that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on April…
“It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving”
"It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving" is a one-line food saying that has been popular on Twitter. "It’s crazy how fast I can go from full to starving"…
“Fitness? More like, fitness this whole pizza in my mouth”
"Fitness? More like, fitness this whole burger/cake/pizza in my mouth" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "Fitness? More like fitness this whole pizza in my…
“I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level”
"I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level" is a jocular one-line ice cream saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m getting fat”
"My hobbies include eating and complaining that I'm getting fat" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My hobbies include eating and complaining about how fat I…
“Fitness? More like, fitness this whole pizza in my mouth”
"Fitness? More like, fitness this whole burger/cake/pizza in my mouth" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "Fitness? More like fitness this whole pizza in my…
“If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross”
Reheated french fries are never good, but some people still reheat fries, anyway. "Reheated french fries are always gross. Just thought I would share that" was posted on Twitter on…
“If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn’t be called nachos”
"Nachos" sounds like "not yours." "If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn’t be called nachos" is a jocular one-line saying about nachos that has been printed…
“If you wrote a screenplay about coffee, would it be a JavaScript?”
"JavaScript" is not a screenplay about coffee, but there are many puns. "Javascript (which I thought was a screenplay about coffee)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
“True beauty is within—for example, opening your fridge”
"True beauty is within -- for example, opening your fridge" is a popular saying on Twitter. "'True beauty comes from within' example: opening your fridge" was posted…
“If you wrote a screenplay about coffee, would it be a JavaScript?”
"JavaScript" is not a screenplay about coffee, but there are many puns. "Javascript (which I thought was a screenplay about coffee)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
“Don’t get mad—get everything!”
"Don't get mad -- get even!" is an old political saying. Czech-American businesswoman and former fashion model Ivana Trump (who was married to Donald Trump from 1977 to 1991) said in…