“I want abs…olutely all the pizza”
Many people say they want "abs," but are not willing to exercise to get it. "I want abs...olutely all the tacos" and "I want abs...olutely all the pizza" and similar…
Archive for /P15140
“I want abs…olutely all the pasta and breadsticks”
Many people say they want "abs," but are not willing to exercise to get it. "I want abs...olutely all the tacos" and "I want abs...olutely all the pizza" and similar…
“Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I am a gift”
"Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I am a gift" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "On Christmas eve…
“Have you ever had to park like an asshole because the person next to you parked like an asshole?”
Sometimes a car parked imperfectly (over painted lines, for example) can cause other cars to park imperfectly. "I hate when you have to park like an idiot bc the person next to you parked like…
“So you’re telling me a blunt forced this trauma?”
"Blunt (force) trauma" is physical trauma; penetrating trauma usually involves a knife or a bullet. Blunt force trauma has nothing to do with a "blunt" (cannabis), but there are…
“I got stung by a bee yesterday. Twenty dollars for a jar of honey!”
A bee stings, but it usually doesn't have a sting operation -- that is, to catch suckers. "IT'S early evening in a south London pub and Robbie Williams -- for so long dubbed `the…
“Never test the depth of the water with both feet” (proverb)
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterAdam Aims@AdamAimsNever test the depth of the water with both feet.7:40 AM · Oct 2, 2007·Twitter Web Client Google BooksTitle Never Test the Depth of Water with…
“Pomegranates are just inverted corn”
A corn on the cob has corn kernels on the outside. Pomegranates have many seeds, which are on the inside. "Pomegranates are just inverted corn on the cobs. via /r/showerthoughts" was…
“Sotally tober” (joke on “totally sober”)
"Sotally tober" (a joke on "totally sober") has been printed on many images. "Sotally tober" has been cited in print since at least 1988, and was entered in the Urban…
“Ossifer, I’m sotally tober!” (joke on “Officer, I’m totally sober!”)
"Sotally tober" (a joke on "totally sober") has been printed on many images. "Sotally tober" has been cited in print since at least 1988, and was entered in the Urban…
“Never test the depth of a river with both feet”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterAdam Aims@AdamAimsNever test the depth of the water with both feet.7:40 AM · Oct 2, 2007·Twitter Web Client Google BooksTitle Never Test the Depth of Water with…
“Pomegranate is just inverted corn”
A corn on the cob has corn kernels on the outside. Pomegranates have many seeds, which are on the inside. "Pomegranates are just inverted corn on the cobs. via /r/showerthoughts" was…
“Thinking is hard! So just do what the government says”
"Thinking is hard! So just do what the government says" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on many images. The meme (showing a young man and a young woman both giving…
“‘Accidentally’ buy the potato chips your spouse doesn’t like so you don’t have to share”
A jocular supermarket store sign has been printed on many images: "Store Tip!!!'Accidentally' buy the potato chips your spouse doesn't like so you don't have to…
“The word ‘homeowner’ has the word ‘meow’ in it. Good luck pronouncing it correctly ever again”
"The word 'homeowner' has the word 'meow' in it. Good luck pronouncing it correctly ever again" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "i just noticed…
“Here’s a question for all you mind readers out there…”
"Here's a joke for all the/you mind readers out there..." (or "Here's a question for you mind readers out there...") is a social media joke that has been printed on…
“I don’t believe in reincarnation. Who wants to come back as a tin of milk?”
Reincarnation has nothing to do with Carnation brand evaporated milk, but there are jokes. "Who wants to come back as a tin of milk ?????" was posted on the newsgroup…
Cutlery, Stablery, Scooplery (knives, forks, spoons)
The knife, fork and spoon constitute "cutlery," but many people believe that only the knife qualifies at cutlery because it "cuts." Forks have sometimes been called…
“At 12:01 am on January 1, for the first time ever, hind sight will actually be 2020”
The year 2020 had some "2020 vision" jokes. This was posted on Facebook by Joe Haenn on December 18, 2020: "At 12:01 am on Jan 1, for the first time ever, Hind Sight will actually be…
“Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…”
"Here's a joke for all the/you mind readers out there..." (or "Here's a question for you mind readers out there...") is a social media joke that has been printed on…