“Imagine the audience naked” (theatre saying)
"Imagine the audience naked" (or "imagine the audience in their underwear") is advice that some people give to someone who is scared on the stage, such as a frightened actor or…
Archive for 02/2015
“In victory, you deserve champagne; in defeat, you need it”
"In victory, you deserve champagne; in defeat, you need it" has been frequently credited to Napoléon Bonaparte (1769-1821), but there's no evidence that he ever said it. Winston…
“Steel sharpens steel” (wrestling adage)
"Steel sharpens steel" is an old saying; in sports, the saying means that the best get sharper (or better) by playing against the best. A wrestling article in the Cedar Rapids (IA)…
“Three things you can’t take back: a spent arrow, a spoken word and a lost opportunity”
"Four things come not back: the broken word, the spent arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity" was cited in print in 1870. "There are three things that return not: the…
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie”
Garfield, a comic strip created by Jim Davis, features a fat cat. In the book Garfield Eats His Heart Out (1983), Garfield gave the following diet tip: "Vegetables are a must on a diet. I…
“All you need is tea and warm socks” (winter saying)
"All you need is tea and warm socks" is a winter saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters and coffee mugs. "Gives you hot tea and warm socks" was cited…
“There are two types of pain: Pain that hurts you and pain that changes you”
"There are two types of pain in this world: Pain that hurts you and pain that changes you" is a motivational quotation that has been printed on many posters. The saying was popularized by…
“Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography”
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is a classic saying from the early 1800s. "Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked…
“Love people, not things; use things, not people”
"Love people, not things; use things not people" is a popular saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying has been popular in Christian teaching as an extension of the New…
“I can’t work in an environment where I’m expected to do my job”
"I can't work in an environment where I'm expected to do my job" is a popular ecard. The jocular saying has been cited on Twitter since October 2, 2013. TwitterMarvin EL…
“Business conventions show how many people a company can operate without”
"Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without" is a jocular saying that has been included in many collections of humorous…
“Opportunity knocks only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell”
"Opportunity knocks but once" is a proverb that dates, in various forms, to the 1500s. "Opportunity knocks only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell" is a jocular…
“Where’s the best place to hide a dead body?”/“Google’s second page of search results”
"What's the best place to hide a dead body?" The jocular answer is the second page of Google search results, because nobody ever goes there. "Am I the only one who realises you…
“Eagles don’t deliver on Sunday” (NFL football joke)
The U.S. Postal Service doesn't deliver on Sundays. NFL football games are usually played on Sundays. A popular joke asks, how is an NFL team like the postal service (or an NFL player like the…
“Programmer—an organism that turns coffee into software”
Hungarian mathematician Alfréd Rényi (1921-1970) is credited for saying, "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems." "Programmer -- an organism that turns…
“If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner”
English writer Henry Sambrooke Leigh (1837-1883) wrote in "On Corpulence" (1869): If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner,And take to light claret instead of pale ale;Look down…
“Too many people do weightlifting with the wrong equipment - a knife and fork”
"WISH I'D SAID THAT: Too many Americans go in for weight-lifting with the wrong equipment -- a knife and fork" was in the "Earl's Pearl's" segment of…
“Forty minutes of hell” (college basketball saying)
A college basketball game is 40 minutes long. University of Arkansas basketball coach Nolan Richardson applied a pressure defense that he called "40 minutes of hell" (or "forty…
“Fatigue makes cowards of us all”
"Fatigue makes cowards of us all" has been popularly credited to both United States Army General George S. Patton, Jr. (1885-1945) and to Green Bay Packers football head coach Vince…
“New York’s water is so hard it comes at you with a switchblade”
"New York's water is so hard it comes at you with a switchblade" is a joke that was probably told during New York City's high crime days of the 1970s. Early citations of the…