“What kind of vegetable is jealous?”/“A green bean.”
People get "green" with envy, and there's a vegetable riddle: Q: What kind of vegetable is jealous?A: A green bean. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2006. Sumo…
Alphebetical for "w"
“What kind of vegetable might you find in your basement?”/“Cellary.”
Entry in progress -- BP Twitterpresident jojo@NonePizza@WilliamShatner what kind of vegetable might you find in your basement?? CELLARY11:07 PM · Jun 9, 2013·Twitter Web Client TwitterDavid R.…
“What kind of vegetable never bowls a strike?”/“Asparagus.”
There is no "spare" in asparagus, but there's a riddle: Q: What kind of vegetable never bowls a strike?A: Asparagus. The joke was posted on Twitter by Steve Marowski on January 19,…
“What kind of vegetables did they eat in the 18th century?”/“Baroque-oli.”
"Broccoli" is sometimes punned on many images as "baroque-oli." "What was Bach's favourite vegetable? Baroque-oli #unfunnyjokes" was posted on Twitter on July 26,…
“What kind of vitamin do you get from Canadian maple syrup?”/“Vitamin Eh?”
A joke on Canadian speech is that Canadians are rich in "Vitamin Eh?" (a pun on "Vitamin A"). "Vitamin Eh" was printed in the The Globe and Mail (Toronto, ON) on July…
“What kind of water do cats like to drink?”/“Purr-ified water.”
A cat riddle is: Q: What kind of water do cats like to drink?A: Purr-ified water. "What's a cat's favorite water? Pur-ified" was posted on Twitter on June 6, 2013. "What…
“What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?”/“Spring water.”
A riddle about spring water is: Q: What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?A: Spring water. "So, spring water at the grocery store. That's for your water bed right?" was posted…
“What kind of weather do cupcakes like?”/“Sprinkles.”
A cupcake riddle is: Q: What kind of weather do cupcakes like?A: Sprinkles. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2018 and has been told by the Amazon Alexa personal assistant.…
“What kind of wine do horses drink?”/“Caberneigh.”
A wine riddle was posted on Twitter on October 18, 2011: Q: What's a horse's favorite wine?A: Caber-neigh! "Caberneigh" (Cabernet + neigh) is usually used in the joke, but…
“What kind of woman do you take me for?”/“We’ve already established that” (Churchill?)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Winston ChurchillSir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, FRS, PC (Can) (1874-11-30 – 1965-01-24) was a British politician. He was Prime…
“What kind of work does a weak cat do?”/“Light mouse work.”
Many classified ads state "light house work." In 1950, several classified ads offering kittens stated that they do "light mouse work." A riddle has been cited in print since at…
“What language do police officers speak?”/“Coptic.”
"The Vatican Police speak pig Latin" is a joke on the liner noted to the comedy album FM & AM (1972) by American stand-up comedian George Carlin (1937-2008). "Pig" is slang…
“What language do the Vatican police speak?”/“Pig Latin.”
"The Vatican Police speak pig Latin" is a joke on the liner noted to the comedy album FM & AM (1972) by American stand-up comedian George Carlin (1937-2008). "Pig" is slang…
“What language does a billboard speak?”/“Sign language.”
A popular children's joke about a billboard is: Q: What language does a billboard speak? A: Sign language. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google Groups:…
“What language does Santa Claus speak?”/“North Polish.”
Santa Claus is said to live in the North Pole, and there are at least two riddles about it. A language riddle is from 1938: Q: What language does Santa Claus speak?A: North Polish. A nationality is…
“What language is most commonly used in programming?”/“Profanity.”
A "Troutman Postulate" of computer programming was published in 1980: "5. PROFANITY IS THE ONE LANGUAGE ALL PROGRAMMERS KNOW BEST." The wording is often slightly changed into a…
“What languages do pigs speak?”/“Porktuguese.”
"Porktuguese" (Portuguese language + pork) is not a language that exists, but there are jokes. "Learning the language that Brazilian pigs speak...porktuguese" was posted on…
“What lights up a football stadium?”/“A football match.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 13 June 2006, Liverpool (UK) Echo, "Your JOEKS," pg. 22:What lights up a football stadium?A football match!
“What line of work should you recommend to an alcoholic, scruffy bum with an attitude?” (joke)
Celebrity chefs often have a reputation for being very unpleasant in the kitchen. “What line of work should you recommend to an alcoholic, scruffy bum with an attitude? Well, a celebrity chef…
“What looks like half of an apple?”/“The other half.”
A cheese riddle was published in an 1869 newspaper: Q: What looks like half a cheese? A: The other half. An apple version was published in a 1909 newspaper: Q: What looks like half of an apple? A:…