“Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire”
"Dancing is a perpendicular/vertical expression of a horizontal desire/idea/intent/urge" has been credited to playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), playwright Oscar Wilde…
Alphebetical for "d"
“Dang Auto correct! This is why I have crust issues!”
"Why I have trust issues" shouldn't be confused with "why I have crust issues," but there are food jokes. "My mom used to cut the edges of my jelly sandwiches. This is…
“Dang, my 250 million year old salt has expired”
Many people are surprised that salt has an expiration date. One brand of salt states that it is 250 million year old. "Eating 250 million-year-old salt. Surprisingly does not taste stale"…
“DANGER: Avoid serious injury. Don’t tell me how to do my job”
"WARNING: To avoid (serious) injury, don't tell me how to do my job" (or "DANGER: Avoid serious injury. Don't tell me how to do my job") is a jocular saying that ha…
“DANGER: Not To Be Operated By Fucktards” (safety sign)
"DANGER: Not To Be Operated By Fucktards/Fuckwits/Idiots/Morons" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many signs. "Not to be operated by Fuckwits" was posted on Twitter…
“DANGER: Not To Be Operated By Fuckwits” (safety sign)
"DANGER: Not To Be Operated By Fucktards/Fuckwits/Idiots/Morons" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many signs. "Not to be operated by Fuckwits" was posted on Twitter…
“DANGER: Not To Be Operated By Idiots” (safety sign)
"DANGER: Not To Be Operated By Fucktards/Fuckwits/Idiots/Morons" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many signs. "Not to be operated by Fuckwits" was posted on Twitter…
“DANGER: Not To Be Operated By Morons” (safety sign)
"DANGER: Not To Be Operated By Fucktards/Fuckwits/Idiots/Morons" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many signs. "Not to be operated by Fuckwits" was posted on Twitter…
“Danger: You are being conditioned to view your freedom as selfish”
"Danger: You are being conditioned to view your freedom as selfish" (or "Warning: You're being conditioned to view your freedom as 'selfish'") is a saying that…
“Danger. Do not touch. Not only will this kill you, it will hurt the whole time you’re dying” (sign)
"Danger. Do not touch. Not only will this kill you, it will hurt the whole time you're dying" is a sign that has been printed on many images. "Via @popurls: Not only will this…
“Dark chocolate is at least 60% coco beans therefore it’s a vegetable”
Dark chocolate contains cocoa solids and cocoa butter, so many people insist that it's basically a bean -- and that it should be considered a fruit or a vegetable. The argument is made mostly…
“Date someone who drinks with you instead of complaining that you drink”
"date someone who drinks with you instead of complaining that you drink" was posted on X/Twitter by NihongoSOS on January 12, 2017. "Date someone who drinks with you instead of…
“Dawn commercials be washing everything BUT dishes. I do not have no damn greasy duck”
"How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off a duck but not a spaghetti bowl?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many Dawn advertisements show that the product cleans oil that…
“Dawn soap commercials show everything but washing dishes. I ain’t got no ducks”
"How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off a duck but not a spaghetti bowl?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many Dawn advertisements show that the product cleans oil that…
“Day 12 without alcohol: I lost hearing in my left eye”
"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…
“Day 12 without chocolate: Lost hearing in my left eye”
"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…
“Day 12 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye”
"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…
“Day 13 without soda: I have now lost hearing in my right eye”
"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…
“Day 187 without sex: losing hearing in my left eye”
"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…
“Day 27: The garbage man stuck a pamphlet for AA on my recycling bin”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many states deem liquor stores to be essential businesses. Some people drank a lot. "Day 27: The garbage man stuck a pamphlet for AA on my recycling bin.…