“Cottage cheese implies the existence of bungalow cheese”
There is cottage cheese, but what about the cheese of other buildings? "cottage cheese implies the existence of other building themed cheeses" was posted on Twitter by shrimp 'fried…
“An air mattress is great when you want to sleep on the floor, but not right away”
Some people find that sleeping on an air mattress is not much better than sleeping on the floor. This was posted on Twitter by cap’n watsisname on July 25, 2021, and received about 75,000 likes:…
“There is a self depreciation course starting at my college next term. I’ve already put myself down”
"I put myself down (for a college course)" means to sign up for a course. It doesn't mean literally putting one's self down, but there are jokes. "There is a self…
“Cottage cheese implies the existence of skyscraper cheese”
There is cottage cheese, but what about the cheese of other buildings? "cottage cheese implies the existence of other building themed cheeses" was posted on Twitter by shrimp 'fried…
“Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time”
"Weight loss goal(s): To be able to clip/cut/paint my toenails and breathe at the same time" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My weight loss goal: To be…
“As soon as they put me in a hospital gown, I knew my end was in sight”
Hospital gowns usually are tied in the back, often leaving one's rear end exposed. "As soon as they put me in a hospital gown I knew my end was in sight" was posted on Twitter by B-P…
“As soon as I put on my hospital gown, I knew the end was in sight”
Hospital gowns usually are tied in the back, often leaving one's rear end exposed. "As soon as they put me in a hospital gown I knew my end was in sight" was posted on Twitter by B-P…
“Can someone tell me what the National Constipation Society have been tweeting about? I’m blocked”
When people are "blocked" (on social media such as Twitter), this has nothing to do with constipation, but there are jokes. "Can someone tell me what the National Constipation…
“Which account is the most blocked on Twitter?”/“The National Constipation Society.”
When people are "blocked" (on social media such as Twitter), this has nothing to do with constipation, but there are jokes. "Can someone tell me what the National Constipation…
“Why is stir fry never cooked on the ocean?”/“Because everyone knows you can’t wok on water.”
"Wok" sounds like "walk," and there are many jokes. "Who can forget Neil Diamond's classic, 'Wok on Water'? I think he wrote it for Emeril..." was…
“A man was seriously injured today after being run over by a reversing car….” (joke)
Police often ask for someone involved in an incident to "come forward" -- that is, to talk to the police. "Come forward" is meant literally in some "reversing car"…
“What do you call a group of racist pigeons and chickens?”/“The Coo Clucks Clan.”
The Ku Klux Klan isn't a group of pigeons and chickens, but there are "Coo Clucks Clan" jokes. "Coos, Clucks Clan Assembles At Provincial Poultry Show" wat a headline in…
“A new supermarket opened near my house…” (joke)
A long joke begins that a new supermarket has opened near the speaker. The supermarket has a variety of smells and sounds -- an automatic water mister for the produce, the sound of cows mooing at…
“Climate change happens four times a year—winter, spring, summer, fall”
"Climate change" is a term that can be misunderstood. Many people argue that the existence of four seasons shows "climate change." "climate change happens four times a…
“Why did Jesus make stir fry in the South China Sea?”/“To prove that he could wok on water.”
"Wok" sounds like "walk," and there are many jokes. "Who can forget Neil Diamond's classic, 'Wok on Water'? I think he wrote it for Emeril..." was…
“‘Climate change’ happens 4 times each year. My favorite is the ‘global warming’ in late April”
"Climate change" is a term that can be misunderstood. Many people argue that the existence of four seasons shows "climate change." "climate change happens four times a…
“Climate change happens four times a year. It’s called seasons”
"Climate change" is a term that can be misunderstood. Many people argue that the existence of four seasons shows "climate change." "climate change happens four times a…
“Weight loss goal: To be able to cut my toenails and breathe at the same time”
"Weight loss goal(s): To be able to clip/cut/paint my toenails and breathe at the same time" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My weight loss goal: To be…
“Don’t move in mysterious ways. Use your blinker”
"The Lord moves in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Mysterious Ways" is a song by the Irish…
“Warning: Alcohol consumption will make you believe you’re whispering. I assure you, you are not”
"Warning: Alcohol consumption will make you believe you're whispering. I assure you, you are not" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. People who have had a lot…