“Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?”
Entry in progress -- B.P."Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?" is a jocular line that has been
“Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 20 June 2008, Townsville (Queensland) Bulletin, "Psyched Up" by Marie Bella, pg. 207:Borrowing the words from an unknown sage: "Patience is the ability to…
“Oh my God, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Will & GraceWill & Grace is an American sitcom created by Max Mutchnick and David Kohan about the relationship between best friends Will Truman (Eric…
“An attractive woman took a seat next to me at a bar…” (joke)
An all-too-real bar joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 14, 2017: "An attractive woman took a seat next to me at a bar last night...and brought it to a table of friends." Reddit --…
“Apparently ‘cheesecake & tacos’ wasn’t the answer when he asked me about my weaknesses”
Employment interviewers often ask a job applicant what his or her weaknesses are. A jocular line is: "Apparently 'cheesecake & tacos' wasn't the answer the interviewer was…
“The best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap the wife”
"Apparently the best way to get a strong cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So I always slap the wife before she goes into the kitchen!" is a tea joke that has been printed on several…
“How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“None. They just beat the room for being black.”
A "racist police" riddle has been printed on many images: Q: How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?A: They don't. They arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the…
“How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?”
"How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?" (or "How much shit could a dipshit dip if a dipshit could dip shit?") is a jocular line that has been printed on…
“I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper? She said they’re old school” (joke)
Are newspapers obsolete? "iPad can't replace a newspaper for sure at least in swatting a fly!" was posted on Twitter on September 10, 2010. A joke was posted on Twitter on June 24,…
“Apparently ‘cheesecake & tacos’ wasn’t the answer when he asked me about my weaknesses”
Employment interviewers often ask a job applicant what his or her weaknesses are. A jocular line is: "Apparently 'cheesecake & tacos' wasn't the answer the interviewer was…
“Is it whiskey?”/“Yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”
A whiskey joke has been printed on many images: "Two Chinese men break into a Scottish distillery. One asks, 'Is it whiskey?' The other says, 'Yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing…
“I have a smart phone with a dumb battery”
"I have a smart phone with a dumb battery" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Smart phone has a dumb battery" was posted on Twitter on April 17,…
“Apparently, rush hour starts the second I put my key in the ignition, no matter what time I leave”
"Apparently, rush hour starts the second I put my key in the ignition, no matter what time I leave" is a jocular one-line saying about rush hour. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb…” (joke)
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
“I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb…” (joke)
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
“I got fired from my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene”
"Without making a scene" means without disruption. A theatre joke is: "I got fired from my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene." The theatre pun has been…
“When I hear somebody sigh that ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’”
"When I hear somebody sigh that 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" is a jocular line about life's troubles that has been printed on…
“The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing”
"The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Men's…
“The weather is so nice I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run”
When the weather is nice, some people go outside and run, but many people don't run in any weather. A joke is: "The weather is so nice I think I'll go outside and watch other people…
“The weather is so nice I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run”
When the weather is nice, some people go outside and run, but many people don't run in any weather. A joke is: "The weather is so nice I think I'll go outside and watch other people…