“Some herbs taste much better at Christmas. It’s the most wonderful thyme of the year”
"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (1963) is a Christmas song that was recorded by singer Andy Williams (1927-2012). "Thyme" is a popular pun on the word…
“A fireman runs into a school clutching a screwdriver and shouts, ‘This is not a drill!’”
A "drill" (an exercise, such as a fire drill) should not be confused with a "drill" (a tool primarily used for making round holes or driving fasteners), but there are jokes.…
“Am I going to put the Christmas tree up myself? No, I’m going to put it up in the living room!”
A somewhat NSFW Christmas tree joke was posted on Twitter by Andy L Smith on December 18, 2009: "I bought a Christmas tree today The girl in the shop asked if I was going to put it up myself I…
“Are you putting the Christmas tree up yourself?”/“No, I’m going to put it up in the living room!”
A somewhat NSFW Christmas tree joke was posted on Twitter by Andy L Smith on December 18, 2009: "I bought a Christmas tree today The girl in the shop asked if I was going to put it up myself I…
“I paused my game to be here” (gaming saying)
"I paused my game to be here" is a jocular gaming saying that has been printed on many images. For a gamer to pause a game, something else must be very important! "Rocket Factory I…
“Damn, this year went by so fast I didn’t get a chance to lose weight”
"Damn, this year went by so fast I didn’t (even) get a chance to lose weight" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "This year has gone by so fast I didn’t even get a…
“How does a cowboy start his day?”/“He reboots.”
A cowboy riddle was posted on Reddit -- DadJokes on December 7, 2019, then on Reddit -- 3amjokes on December 14, 2019: Q: How does a cowboy start his day?A: He reboots. The joke essentially relates…
“Skylines are bar charts of a city’s wealth”
A city skyline of tall buildings can look like a bar chart. "Pankaj Pachauri went to NewYork. Sent back a post card with bar chart of NewYork skyline" was posted on Twitter by Telangana…
“Grapefruit is a fruit named after a fruit”
"Grapefruit" is a strange name to many. "Grapefruit, a fruit named after a fruit" was posted on Twitter by Mdange kaTshiwo on July 8, 2014. "Grapefruit: the only fruit…
“What do you call a computer mouse that swears?”/“A cursor.”
A computer riddle has been cited in print since at least 2012: Q: What do you call a mouse that swears?A: A cursor. The word "computer" was added in this version on Twitter by Olivia…
“What do you call a mouse that swears?”/“A cursor.”
A computer riddle has been cited in print since at least 2012: Q: What do you call a mouse that swears?A: A cursor. The word "computer" was added in this version on Twitter by Olivia…
“Stop posting your problems on Facebook and drink alcohol like the rest of us”
"Stop posting your problems on Facebook/Twitter and drink alcohol like the rest of us" is a saying that has been printed in several images. Before social media, people with problems just…
“Adulting is soup and I am a fork”
"Life is a soup and I'm a (fucking) fork" -- a utensil useless for drinking soup -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The song "(I'm Gonna) Kick You…
“Stop posting your problems on social media and drink alcohol like the rest of us”
"Stop posting your problems on Facebook/Twitter and drink alcohol like the rest of us" is a saying that has been printed in several images. Before social media, people with problems just…
“Stop posting your problems on Twitter and drink alcohol like the rest of us”
"Stop posting your problems on Facebook/Twitter and drink alcohol like the rest of us" is a saying that has been printed in several images. Before social media, people with problems just…
“My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks”
"My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks" is a snacking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks”
"My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks" is a snacking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on X/Twitter by…
“When I was your age, I had to walk through 10 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel”
"When I was your age, I had to walk through 10 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “I used to walk five miles to and…
“Building Seven didn’t kill itself”
"Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself" became a popular meme in 2019, referring to pedophile Jeffrey Epstein (1953-2019), who allegedly hung himself in his Metropolitan Correctional…
“Building 7 didn’t kill itself”
"Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself" became a popular meme in 2019, referring to pedophile Jeffrey Epstein (1953-2019), who allegedly hung himself in his Metropolitan Correctional…