A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Somewhere between a donut and a juice cleanse” (7/13)
“Somewhere between a doughnut and a juice cleanse” (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP47 (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP46 (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP45 (7/13)
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“I accidentally swallowed some food coloring and dyed a little inside”

“How does Moses make his tea?”/“Hebrews it.”

“I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx”

“I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words”

“If you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated”

“I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me”

“This girl said she knew me from a vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore”

“What’s the tallest building?” or “What building has the most stories?” (joke)

Glue Guy (team player)

“A jumper cable walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Bacon and eggs walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Two bacteria walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A superconductor walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“What is the volume of an object with depth a and radius z?”/“Pi z z a.”

“A Roman walks into a bar and orders a Martinus…” (bar joke)

“Helium walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“He should be left back…in the changing rooms” (soccer joke)

“A neutrino walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“An infectious disease walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“America without her soldiers would be like God without His angels”

“One right and honest definition of business is mutual helpfulness”

“Your money or your life!”/“I’m thinking it over.”

“Johnny thought that H2O was H2SO4” (chemistry rhyme)

“Why do birds fly south for the winter?”/“Because it’s too far to walk.”

“What do you call a tube with a college degree?”/“A graduated cylinder.”

“All you need is a chip and a chair” (poker adage)

“The checkbook and the calendar never lie”

“I tried to catch some fog. I mist”

Oblivobesity (obliviousness + obesity)

“Recipes are like online dates. They never look like the picture”

“Summer wrestlers make winter champions” (wrestling adage)

“Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

Tout TV

Bubblevision (bubble + television)

3-and-D (basketball player providing 3-point shooting and defense)

Nickelodious (Nickelodeon nickname)

“You’re redneck if entertainment is a bug zapper and a six-pack”

“You booze, you lose”

Gig Economy

TANSTAAFMWH (There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Minimum Wage Hike)

“I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me”

“When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the airplane, the airplane will fly”

“Strong. Light. Cheap. Pick Two” (mountain bike adage)

Rainbow Jihad

Carnegie Hall of Cuisine (James Beard House nickname)

INCH (I’m Never Coming Home) Bag

WROL (Without Rule Of Law)

“An optimist laughs to forget and an pessimist forgets to laugh”

“If you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it”

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on”

Criss-Cross Applesauce

“A crowded parking lot means good food” (restaurant adage)

“Motorboat, motorboat go so slow…” (children’s rhyme)

“Marriage is when a man loses his Bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her Master’s degree”

Golden Horde

“Teach 25 years, not one year 25 times” (teaching adage)

“You run around for 90 minutes and the Germans win” (soccer saying)

“If you’re even, he’s leavin’” (speed can’t be caught)

“Bad kicking is bad football” (Australian rules football adage)

“You aren’t a true champion until you successfully defend your title”

Safety School

WHINO (whine + RINO)

GOPe or GOP-e

“Is there a criminal lawyer in this town?” (lawyer joke)

Cashtration (cash + castration)

Fat Letter (presumed admissions acceptance letter)

“God made heaven and earth, and the rest was made in China”

“It’s not what is poured into a student that counts, but what is planted”

“Be stubborn about your goals, but flexible about your methods”

“Working towards satisfaction will make you a legend”

Human Chop Shop (Planned Parenthood nickname)

Planned Frankenhood (Planned Parenthood nickname)

“This is a nonprofit organization. We didn’t plan it that way”

Impregnable Quadrilateral (golf’s four major events)

Poshtel (posh + hostel)

“Teacher—A person who helps you solve problems you’d never have without them”

“Work hard in silence; let success make the noise”

“It’s sherbert day” (sherbet + birthday)

“Behind every successful woman is herself”

“Just like New York” (“Just like downtown”)

“You don’t have to get it right. You just have to get it going”

Rhubarb (a heated dispute)

“Up the river, down the lake; the pitcher’s got a bellyache”

“A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Behind every great man is a great woman”

“We want a pitcher, not a glass of water”

“We want a batter, not a broken ladder”

“Every country has an army, but in Pakistan/Prussia/U.S., the army has a country”

“He gave a fireside chat and the fire went out” (joke)

“Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they’ve been planted by a secret organization”

“Salesmanship begins when the customer says no”

“They don’t make things like they used to—and they never did”

“Were you married by a Justice of the Peace or the Secretary of War?” (joke)

Lience (lie + science); Lientist (lie+ scientist)

“A New Yorker learns to drive by yelling ‘taxi’”

“Guns don’t kill people. Abortions kill people”

“If you bought it, a truck brought it”

“You’re like school in July—no class”

“An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject”

“Wake up and smell the tyranny”

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