“Two peanuts walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
“A guy walks into a bar…” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” A peanut version is:
“Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted (assaulted).”
“Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a-salted…” was printed in the Edmonton (Alberta) Journal on November 12, 1993.
Sometimes the peanuts are walking out of the bar. “Two peanuts walk out of a bar, and one was a salted” was posted on the newsgroup free.jokes on July 19, 2006.
“Two peanuts went for a walk through a particularly rough section of town. One was a salted”—a non-bar joke version—was cited in print in 1953.
Newspapers.com
12 November 1993, Edmonton (Alberta) Journal, “Evening quite fun—but…” by Wayne Moriarty, pg. E11, col. 2:
“Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a-salted…”
Google Groups: muc.lists.debian.user
The Perfect Debian / Personal Computer
Jeff
Apr 24, 2001, 4:05:55 PM
(...)
these two peanuts walk into a bar…
one was assaulted…
7 August 2002, The Sun (London, UK), “Scotcha on Wednesday,” pg. 14:
Two peanuts go into a bar. One was a salted.
Newspapers.com
20 July 2003, Orlando (FL) Sentinel, “Jerry Greene’s From the Cheap Seats,” pg. C2, col. 4:
Worst joke yet
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.
Google Groups: free.jokes
One liners part 1
Royster G
Jul 19, 2006, 4:59:14 AM
(...)
3. Two peanuts walk out of a bar, and one was a salted.
Twitter
Sally Strebel
@BizGirl
Replying to @conniereece
@conniereece Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
1:07 PM · Jul 28, 2007·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Rosemary Stanley
@mrsdohpaz
Two peanuts walked into a bar and one was a salted. :D
10:41 PM · Feb 21, 2008·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
“Doc” Presley, Ph.D.
@lrpresley
Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted.
2:12 PM · Mar 13, 2008·Twitter SMS
Twitter
Jessie Ramsey, ABC
@jramseyABC
@jlane22 Two peanuts walk out of a bar, one was assaulted! (nyuk nyuk)
10:34 PM · Apr 11, 2010·Twitter Web Client
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/h-b0mb September 8, 2011
Two peanuts walk into a bar…
One was a-salted.
Twitter
Tinika♥²º¹¹
@Tinxy08
So two peanuts walk out of a bar.. The one was asalted 😛
4:49 AM · Oct 3, 2011·Twitter for BlackBerry®
Twitter
Amber Grayson
@AmbLussier
Replying to @TheEllenShow
@TheEllenShow : Two peanuts walk out of a bar, one was assaulted #ClassicJokeMonday
1:51 PM · Mar 12, 2012·Twitter for iPhone
Reddit—3amjokes
Posted by u/Lokipi May 15, 2013
Two Peanuts walk into a Bar…
...One was Assaulted.
This is literally my favorite joke ever.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/I_AMA_Cyborg_AMA July 15, 2013
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was assaulted.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/brods_brods September 14, 2013
Two peanuts walk into a really rough bar
Unfortunately, one was a salted
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Frostmorne August 28, 2014
Two peanuts walks into a bar…
...and one was a salted.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/JuanJuanJuan234 December 27, 2015
Two peanuts walk into a bar…
One was a salted.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/ThElephantKiller April 24, 2017
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/PatienceandFortitude August 22, 2019
Two peanuts went into a bar…
And one was a salted
(Really bad. I know. But my go-to when a rated g icebreaker is needed.)
Twitter
Jade Smith
@Jade_today
Replying to @OneDayOnlycoza
My dad’s best:
“Two peanuts walk out of a bar. One was a salted.
Get it? Assaulted”
9:35 AM · Jun 18, 2020·Twitter Web App
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/ndngroomer February 16, 2021
Two peanuts walked into a bar
One was assalted