“Jesus walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A guy walks into a bar…” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” A joke involving Jesus (who can turn water into wine) is:
 
“Jesus walks into a bar and says, ‘I’ll just have a glass of water.’”
   
The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996.
 
“Jesus walks into a bar. The barman looks up and asks, ‘We don’t serve wine here.’ Jesus looks at him quizzically and goes to look for a Spanish translator because he had just immigrated from Mexico and English was not his first language” is a “Jesus walks into a bar” anti-joke.
   
       
Wikipedia: Marriage at Cana
The transformation of water into wine at the Marriage at Cana or Wedding at Cana is the first miracle attributed to Jesus in the Gospel of John. In the Gospel account, Jesus, his mother and his disciples are invited to a wedding, and when the wine runs out, Jesus delivers a sign of his glory by turning water into wine.
 
The location of Cana has been subject to debate among biblical scholars and archeologists; several villages in Galilee are possible candidates.
       
Google Groups: comp.os.linux.advocacy
ActiveX IS NO match for OpenDoc!!
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
8/29/96
(...)
Howard Schumacher
—
Jesus walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Let me guess… wine, right?”
Jesus says, “No, water.  I’ll do the rest.”
 
Google Groups: rec.motorcycles.harley
OT - Humor. A skeleton walks into the bar…
PT in Oregon
8/12/04
Jesus walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a glass of wine, my son.”
Bartender says, “Red or white?”
Jesus pauses, then says, “Gimme a glass of water. I’ll decide later.”
 
Twitter
Taryn Chase Jackson
‏@anyslyenchanter
@michaelsalamone - Here’s a good one for holy week: Jesus walks into a bar and says “Can I get a glass of water?”
3:10 PM - 7 Apr 2009
 
Twitter
Wayne John
‏@waynejohn
So, Jesus walks into a bar and says, “I’ll just have a glass of water.”
11:46 AM - 20 Apr 2009
   
Google Books
Bumper Stickers on the Clouds:
Humor and Essays from an Uncommon Christian
By Ron Ritts
Bloomington, IN: WestBow Press
2013
Pg. 29:
Jesus walks into a bar. The barkeeper asks, “What’ll you have?”
Jesus: “May I have a glass of water, please? And could you put it in a wine glass?”
Barkeeper: “Do you want something to eat with that?”
Jesus: “Yes, I’ll have the loaves and fishes sandwich, with just one mustard seed.”
 
Twitter
Noah Kort
‏@noahkort
Jesus walks into a bar with 13 disciples, and orders 14 glasses of water.
11:25 PM - 31 Oct 2013
 
reddit
Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples… (self.Jokes)
submitted October 3, 2014 by nesh751
“Thirteen glasses of water, please!”, Jesus said to the barman, winking at the others…
 
reddit
Jesus walks into a bar (self.Jokes)
submitted March 25, 2016 by rememberitred
and says “I’ll just have water”