“I’ve got to stay home. I have a case of anal blindness…” (work joke)
A joke has an employee calling a boss and explaining that he/she is not feeling well and suffers from “anal blindness.” What is anal blindness? “I can’t see my ass/arse coming to work today,” the employee explains.
The “anal blindness” joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. “Anal blindness” was entered in the Urban Dictionary in 2008.
“I’m calling in sick because of an eye problem. I can’t see myself coming in to work” and “I’m having a vision problem today. I can’t see myself doing much” are similar sayings.
Google Groups: alt.autos.dodge.trucks
Re: Note to France
RedNeck TookOver Hell
7/15/04
> You have a problem with people that drive trucks for a living
>>>>little man.
The little guy just has problems with people who work for a living period, Jerry
He’s got “short man’s complex” along with “anal blindness”, another words, he can’t see his ass going to work
Google Books
Last Refuge
By Matthew Vierling
Lincoln, NE: iUniverse
2005
Pg. 155:
“Anyway, I didn’t want to work today.”
“Why not?”
“I think I suffer from anal blindness, me.”
“What’s anal blindness?”
“I just can’t see my ass coming to work.”
Urban Dictionary
anal blindness
Woman: ‘Boss, i won’t be in tomorrow, i’m afraid i’ve got anal blindness.’
Boss: ‘Well, what’s anal blindness’
Woman: ‘I can’t see my ass getting out of bed tomorrow.’
Anal blindness means you can’t see your ass getting out of bed.
#anal#ass#blindness#blind#sight
by RebekahT January 23, 2008
Urban Dictionary
anal blindness
Self confessed laziness
You ring your boss in the morning, explaining that you will not be into work that day as you are suffering from ‘anal blindness’
“What’s that?” replies the boss,
“Simple, I cant see myself getting my arse out of bed today.”
#anal#blindness#lazy#boss#work#shy#bed#excuse
by Hill Wanderer April 15, 2008
Twitter
Marcus T Allen Sr.
@M_allen414
FWD: Next time you call in sick to work, tell em you have Anal Blindness. If they ask what’s that? Tell em “I can’t see my ass going 2 w ...
6:57 PM · Aug 3, 2008
Twitter
s
@sheryonstone
If you have anal blindness, you do NOT see yourself going to work tomorrow.
9:13 PM · Nov 9, 2008·Twitter Web Client
Google Books
Jokes for Blokes:
The Ultimate Book of Jokes not Suitable for Mixed Company
By Llewellyn Dowd and Phil McCracken
London, UK: Ebury Press
2011
Pg. 72:
A secretary calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying at home because she is not feeling well.
‘So what’s the matter?’ he asks.
‘I have a case of anal blindness,’ she says in a weak voice.
‘And what the hell is anal blindness?’
‘I just can’t see my arse coming into work today.’
Twitter
No Back Tracking
@Always_theTOPIC
alled My Professor & said i got “Anal Blindness”. he said “What is anal blindness?”, told him “Its me not seeing my ass coming to CLASS”
10:02 PM · Nov 12, 2011·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Mustafa Aziz Khalifa
@mazizkhalifa
Me: Boss, I can’t come in tomorrow cause I have “Anal Blindness”.
Boss: WTF is this?
Me: It’s when I can’t see my ass coming to work!
5:23 PM · Sep 3, 2012·Favstar.FM
Twitter
James Bourne
@JamesBourne
Next time you call in Sick to work, tell em you have Anal Blindness. If they ask what that is? Tell em, “I don’t see my ass coming to work.”
12:13 AM · Dec 7, 2012·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
$100Phill
@huniddollaphill
Called in sick today My boss asked why? Dr said I have *Anal Blindness* Boss said wats that? It’s where I cant see my ass goin to work today
12:02 PM · Jan 28, 2013·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
🧑🏽💻🕊🌈
@FruityMyPebbles
“Yes, hello boss. I can’t come in to work today. I have a severe case of anal blindness…”😲😂
(The following text is on an ecard by Someecards.—ed.)
Next time you call in Sick to
work, tell em you have
Anal Blindness. If
they ask you what that is?
Tell em, “I don’t see
my ass coming to
work.”
12:43 PM · May 23, 2013
Twitter
r.Cashier
@tayser1989
called in sick today. Manager asked why? Doctor said I have Anal Blindness. Manager asked what’s that? It’s where I can’t see my ass coming in to work today!
3:34 PM · Jun 2, 2018·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
A Secretary calls her Boss and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
“So, what’s the matter?” he asks.
“I have a case of anal blindness” she says in a weak voice.
“And what the hell is anal blindness?”
“I can’t see my arse coming into work today”
7:52 AM · Aug 14, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/LoL_Razzer December 29, 2018
I told my Manager today I could not come in cause I have “Anal Blindness.”
He asked, “What is Anal Blindness?” I told him, “It is me not seeing my ass coming to work.”
Twitter
Robert Wilkinson
@robertwlk
I phoned work to say I was ill.
“What’s wrong?”
Me; “Anal blindness. “
Boss; “What’s that?”
Me, ” I can’t see my arse coming to work.”
2:50 AM · Jun 1, 2023