“You can take that to the bank and smoke it”

“You can take that to the bank and smoke it!” is a combination of the sayings “take it to the bank” (a sure thing) and “put that in your pipe and smoke it” (said after a surprising fact is revealed). The television show Perfect Strangers (1986-1993) featured a character from eastern Mediterranean Europe, Balki Bartokomous, who became known for his “Balki-isms” of mixed metaphors. On the show that aired March 10, 1989, Balki said:
 
“And if he don’t like that, he can take it to the bank and smoke it!”
 
The nonsense saying is still used and without reference to the Perfect Strangers origin.
 
   
Wiktionary: take it to the bank
Verb
take it to the bank
1. (idiomatic) said to emphasize that something is known for sure.
 
Wiktionary: put that in your pipe and smoke it
Phrase
put that in your pipe and smoke it
1. (idiomatic, colloquial, pejorative) Used after stating something surprising or undesired, to emphasize its truth. Also used after refuting an argument.
 
Wikipedia: Perfect Strangers (TV series)
Perfect Strangers is an American sitcom that ran for 8 seasons from March 25, 1986 to August 6, 1993 on the ABC television network. Created by Dale McRaven, the series chronicles the rocky coexistence of midwestern American Larry Appleton (Mark Linn-Baker) and his distant cousin from eastern Mediterranean Europe, Balki Bartokomous (Bronson Pinchot).
   
Perfect Strangers Episode Guide
EPISODE 67 - Prose and Cons
First Air Date: March 10, 1989
Nielsen Rating: 12.6 HH
Co-Producer: James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: John B. Collins
Directed by: Joel Zwick
(...)
Balki-isms:
“I didn’t realize I’d made an asset of myself.”
“You really have these facts at your fingernails.”
“Oh, Cousin!  I don’t want to be set on fire!”
“I didn’t know we were fighting for life, puberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
“And if he don’t like that, he can take it to the bank and smoke it!”
     
Perfect Strangers Online 
Season Four Balki-isms
Balki-ism: “And if he don’t like that, he can take it to the bank and smoke it!”
Original: The expression “take it to the bank” means that something is guarantee, 100% correct and genuine.  Balki creatively combined this with the expression, “Put that in your pipe and smoke it!” which means, “Take that!” or “So there!”
 
3 October 1993, Orlando (FL) Sentinel, “Something needs to be done about number of field goals” by Jerry Greene, pg. C7:
Take that to the bank and smoke it or whatever.
   
Google Groups: rec.arts.theatre
Jeremiah “Spassvogel” Rickert
5/12/94
(...)
take that to the bank and smoke it.
     
Straight Dope Message Board
Mixed Metaphors
TheNerd
08-26-1999, 11:26 AM
Take that to the bank and smoke it.
Or, Put that in your Pope and smoke it.
 
T. C. Roekle’s Education Blog
FRIDAY, MAY 18, 2007
“Take that to the bank and smoke it!” Technology Offers Teachers the Ability to Give Students Instant Feedback to Correct Errors… Midstream
Have you ever “mixed your metaphors” or “confused your cliché” and wanted to instantly correct the error before someone heard the words come out of your mouth?
 
Funny or Die (video)
put that in the bank and smoke it
August 2, 2009
     
Google Books
Rotters
By Daniel Kraus
New York, NY: Delacorte Press
2011
Pg. 225:
“You can take that to the bank and smoke it.”
 
YouTube
Take it to the bank! And smoke it?
Moth Pockets
Published on Jun 5, 2012
M.P tries to string together 2 victories..